The Grass Doctor

What would you do to improve this edit?

Re-post...with edits * * as I lay in wait of winter snow covered frosted a hint of licorice it is black anise ...I can touch the colours of green fields the newly cut grass...Kentucky blue still near the edge of the wet woods the newly seeded, under ploughed rows soon the fresh harvest of hay mixed with clover in spring it smells of lime the acid of rotted mulch in fall, the scent of apples laden with leaves a medley of delicious decay * * *NO......in Canada....it's apples ..thank you though

Public Comments

1. spelt liquorice wrong, or i think it can be spelt both ways. If you really want an A i would hand it in while wearing a buttondown and a generous amount of buttons unbuttoned. Change the apples to cherries.
2. Oh my, I live in america and I always thought it was spelled licorice haha (: It is nice, it has a lot of lovely imagery.
3. 2nd to last line... Instead of saying "apples laden with leaves".... ....I would say "apple laden leaves" I read your first one, I liked it, no need to edit it. Though, this way is good as well. But I really liked how the first line was "I can touch the colours of green fields..." ...In your first copy of it. Anyways, ....I likes。
4. It is very good as is.But,after the clover part, I got snapped back to reality,Smells,acid,rotted decay, OMG,sorry that has to go, I was lost in it at first,it brought back nice.memories Of visiting relatives,in the Catskills ,as a child, So,wonderful and peaceful. Thank You byeeexxx a 7
5. I see so much potential in this. I just hate the first person. In first person you have too much explaining to do, ie...why, what, etc....If I may, please? Laying in wait of winter Frosted snow cover Offers a hint of licorice, The scent of Black Anice. Touching the colours In fields of green, Kentucky Bluegrass Edges the wet woods. Under plowed rows, Plants newly seeded Smelling of lime and Acidity of rotted mulch. The arrival of Fall with Ladened leaves scented With ripened apples are Delicious in soft decay. I don't know. It's what I saw out of your mind. Your imagery alone made me write this. It's wonderful, and a rare glimpse of this subject.
6. Most of these posers are not improving your piece. Guess many of them have never read Frost or Thoreau. Keeping yourself as an active ingredient is essential. In the olden days, in my village, it was known as a device to get the reader to personally 'map on' to the experience. You're taking the changing of the seasons, in it's real terms, and pointing out the beautiful ritual of it. I get it!..It's old school, as we are, and charming. Add a one or two word title that is very personal to you. Then cut it, print it, and ship it! 'Im buying THAT one! It's not the changing face of nature itself that's so interesting. It's how you are perceiving it. Send this into New Yorker pronto, although this might have a sort of September/October deadline for submission . edit: In re-reading, I realize it covers all seasons, not just winter, so you might want to put your seasons in order.winter spring..summer..fall.. (all you have to do is call, and I'll be there yes I will, you got a friend!) I'll bet most of your critics won't know where that's from either!