The Grass Doctor

Please review my Essay.?

Picture this, if you will, an endless land. The golden grass swaying in the breeze. The buffalo roaming in the distance. The clouds move slowly above your head. Not a sound is heard but a few chirps of a friendly cricket. The warm smell of fresh land whiffs across your nose. The cool air wraps around you. This is the true beauty of America, The open Prairies. It’s been said a million times and it will be said Infinite more. The Prairie is one of our last prides. And it’s fading into a fast moving mass of Modern Age. It seems almost futile to say we need to take care of this yet- it’s over looked. From a day to day basis we fill this heavenly landscape with piles of trash and ruin. Or we spend our ignorant time building across it, forcing the dark shadow of twisted steel and bricks slowly across the innocent land. I believe it is our sole duty to put this to an end. Is that new super center or that new arcade worth blindness of your great grandson’s sight of the majestic buffalo? Is it worth the highways and restaurants to lose the stories that the soil holds? Not in my eyes. I want to close with a quote that very much relates to the problem at hand. “…present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the Day of Judgment and destruction of ungodly men.” (2 Peter 3:7). It is God’s will that these wonderful lands are kept pure and un-poisoned by man’s hands. The lands of golden dreams and heaven’s skies. Its short. I only had 250-350 words to work with. Prompt is our duty as american citizens

Public Comments

1. It doesnt really make sense &+ you stopped the sentences when they're not supposed to be stopped. But that's just my opinion.
2. I think it's pretty well written with what you had to work with. Two things though, I have doubts as to whether or not Infinite should be capitalized in the first sentence of the second paragraph. Also, in the second paragraph I would consider cutting out the "Or" that you use to start your sentence and just begin with we. Using or at the start of a sentence make it sound like it's an imcomplete addition to the sentence preceeding it.
3. i like it the only thing is grammer i would say on a day to day basis not from a day to day basis
4. its pretty good a few tips would be : -don't start a sentence with "and" -on your last paragraph don't put"I want to close with a quote" just write the quote
5. I'm a teacher so I'm going to be honest. All in all, very good. Just a couple of things. You hooked me with the opening paragraph. Excellent! Then you switched from third to first person ("WE need to take care of this", "Not in MY eyes"). It would help to mention the prompt somewhere (creatively) in your second paragraph. It would solidify your intention of the essay. If you did that, I would have given you an A no doubt. It's really very good but just a few slight adjustments would make it GREAT!