The Grass Doctor

is anyone out there old or getting old?

1. you find yourself beginning to like accordion music 2. lawn care has become a big highlight of your life 3. your underwear creeps up on you and you enjoy it 4. you tune into the easy listening station on purpose 5. you discover that your measurements are now small medium and large in that order 6. you keep repeating yourself 7. you start videotaping daytime game shows 8. at cafeterias you complain that the jello is to tough 9. your new easy chair has more options than your car 10. when you do the hokey pokey you put your left hip out and it stays there 11. 1 of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle 12. conversations with people of your own age often turn into dueling ailments 13. you keep repeating yourself 14. it takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump 15. you’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker 16. you begin every other sentence with "nowadays" 17. you run out of breath walking down a flight of stairs 18. you look both ways before crossing a room 19. you come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity 20. it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night 21. you go to a garden party and you’re mainly interested in the garden 22. you find your mouth making promises your body cant keep 23. at parties you attend, ‘regularity’ is considered the topic of choice 24. you start beating everyone else at trivia games 25. you frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread used to cost 26. your back goes out more than you do 27. you keep repeating yourself 28. your childhood toys are in a museum 29. the clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style….come back in style 30. all your favorite movies are now revised in color 31. the car that you bought brand new is now a very valuable antique 32. you keep repeating yourself 33. you find this list tasteless and insensitive

Public Comments

1. OMG! When did it happen? I missed the moment it occurred :-(
2. no im not.
3. Nope, but thx for the 2 points Laugh now but remember, that will be you someday
4. um...yeah to some...naa to most...and I am not looking forward to the rest.... dang....you take the fun out of disFUNctionally aging! :-)
5. not me
6. WELCOME TO GROWING OLD!!!!!!!!!
7. If I weren't OLD before answering this Q, I would be by the time I finished it. You should be ashamed.
8. Funny but true. I say alot of things over and over and my clothes have come back in style but I'm to old to wear em.
9. it sounds like my dad lol very funny
10. I think you forgot to say that you keep repeating yourself. lol.
11. OH. . . MY. . . WORD!! This is hysterical!! Fortunately, I don't qualify as old according to this list, but I know some folks who do! Good job! :)
12. 22 out of thirty-three is for me. I do not find it tasteless and insensitive. It gets us all sooner or later.
13. it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night
14. By the way, your hat is on backwards.
15. Cute, not that old yet, but it was cute. Did I mention that it was cute?
16. Hey, we'll all be there someday
17. Pull your pants up and tuck your shirt in,you little whipper snapper!
18. Not yet and I hope I die before #'s 1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20, 22, 23, and 26 ever become true for me.
19. aging is all in the mind, and my mind is gone so, I'm good.
20. I like number 16.
21. You old fart!
22. LOL. It's the getting there that counts. Hope you make it! LOL. Have a great evening!