The Grass Doctor

Grass care lawn maintenance shoes? I am looking for a kind of "shoes' that you wear on top of your shoes and you walk with them on your yard to brake the layer that is usually form after many times of trimming the yard and make dificult for the water and fertilizer to reach the soil. It has spikes and are metal or very hard ceramic tips, that breaks the layer and allow the soil to air among other benefits. They look like the golfer shoes (the bottom part) but they are for lawn purpose. I meant, you wear them on the bottom, not on the top.

Any advice about growing grass in clay soil? I live in Missouri and I have a new house. In September, the yard was seeded and hay was spread over the yard. The lawn grew very sparse despite proper care. Before I go buy fertilizer and new seed I need some advice about what works best this time of year and in clay soil. Also, should I leave all the hay that is already there or rake it up? I have always lived in the city and have never had a lawn. Please be thorough. Thank you.

Mowing Grass after planting grass seeds ? and filling weed holes with grass seeds / soil? So I bought a house and I love gardening !! :) but I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a newbie. I hired a lawn care company to help me with my lawn they offer some weed pulling and 5 fertilizer visits (1 per month) and sarritor (weed control) whoever owned the house before didn't love their lawn to much but it's in okay condition. I invest an hour everyday pulling weeds and filling the holes with soil and grass seeds. I have gotten aeration done this year and I did over seeding myself. MY concerns are I want a full thick green lawn with no weeds and no bald patches. I want the grass to look thick and rich. However when I pull a weed out I quickly put some high quality soil in the hole and add grass seeds and then cover it lightly with soil again. I wait 10 days before I mow the lawn because it does need mowing, there's no avoid that. But when I check the holes that the weeds were there's only specs of baby grass growing. Is it safe to mow over them? I can't mow around them because I have like 50 holes in my lawn waiting for grass to grow in from weed pulling. I don't think the blade will touch them and then the grass seeds that haven't even had a chance to germinate as yet I feel are getting blown away by the lawn mower. I feel like I'm going in circles and ending up with a lawn full of holes from extracted weed pullings. I need a thick full GREEN lawn Please what am I doing wrong? I heard if I keep taking out the weeds and filling it with soil and planting grass seeds that eventually the lawn will become so thick and rich that weeds won't be able to find a spot to grow in and if it does I'll only get a couple weeds.

I have a 2 tree frogs and she just had babies but i dont know how to take care of them or what to do with them? I have a male and female tree frog in a 35 gallon tank with real grass and soil and what not with a lot of logs and plants. Theres 3 water holes in the tank and i just found eggs in 2 of them. How long does it take for them to hatch,what the heck do i do with them,and how do i take care of them? And do i need to seperate them? Btw there white's tree frogs.

How do I take care of a baby painted turtle? I found a baby painted turtle outside of the Wal-Mart where I live and I think I am going to keep it but I do not know how to take care of it. It's shell is about the size of a nickel. Should I keep it in the small Beta fish tank I have it in right now or should I move it into a bigger tank like a 25 gallon? And what should I feed it right now? It would be good if I could just feed it something I can find around my house or in my garden cuz I do not go to town allot. Like maybe small earthworms or something. And should I have a heat lamp in there with it if I move it to a bigger tank? And what kind of habitat should it have? Cuz right now all I did was put rocks, grass and garden soil in their cu I do not know what kind of stuff it needs. And how fast do they get big? Will a 20 gallon tank be good for it's whole life?

How to care for a katy did? I cought this katy did with my friends and found it on the side of their house walking and i cought it a couple minuts ago and i want to know what they eat how to make their habitate(give me a link that has a picture on it)And like whhat do they do and stuff like and what do i use ffor bedding?Gravel,soil,grass?Please tell me everything!!!

I need to plant grass seed in my backyard but there is so much clay.? What can I add to the soil to make the grass grow easier? Last fall we planted seed in our front yard and it is starting to dye because the ground is almost all clay. I don't want the grass to dye in the back after we take the time to plant the seed and take care of it. Is there anything that I can add to the soil? I live in the Portland, Oregon area. I have been told that my neighborhood used to be a vineyard before it was developed.

putting in a new line for my shallow well they tore up my yard. The soil is sandy and now is just dirt. How? It is now sandy disturbed soil. I had a "prairie" before as it is at a cabin and just has natural grass/prairie flowers and plants. It is very sandy and on a hill. I'm worried about erosion and trying to get natural grasses to grow on it. I don't care if it is manicured grass.

The grass in my garden has yellow tips, and it looks like the roots are rotten. What can I do? If I lift a patch of grass it looks like the roots are not in the soil, and they look yellow and decaying. The person who take care my garden use a hose to water the grass everyday, also he does it during the day when is very hot. I believe he is applying too much water. Any advise will be wellcome.

How to turn an old garden into grass? I moved into a house with a huge garden in the back that I want covered up and replaced with grass. It is completely run over in weeds, and the soil is very hard and clay like. What is the best way to make it grass? Do I kill all the weeds first? and what is better, grass seeds or those pre-grown grass mats? I don't have any experience in lawn care. Thanks for the help!

should i water the grass ? We have been experiencing drought in our area the last couple years. I have tried not water the grass. Now, the grass die and expose the soil. Quite a few neighbors have done the same thing. Personally, I don't care much about mowing the yard. I do wonder what environment impact this has. If the grass die, the yard will have has less ability to retain the moisture. Would this contributes to more drought ? I wonder if this is a good thing to do. I understand in the old days, farmers used to plow top soil which causes some serious environmental issues. Any ideas ? I live in central Texas near Austin.

How can I plant grass seeds over my existing lawn? We just moved into a new house and the old owners probably didnt care about their lawn. It's neatly trimmed, but there's a lot of variety of plants -- i.e. grass, weeds, crab grass and some other weird stuff that i really dont like. My problem is, Im a noob when it comes to gardening. So how can I start over? Could I just cut the old plants really short, buy some top soil, put it over the old grass and throw the seeds in? Please help! Any help would be gladly appreciated! =)

Can anyone tell me if bleach will kill whipworm if I spray it on the grass after my dog relieves herself? She is on medication for it, but I want to be sure that it wont come back, and I know that whipworm is hard to get rid of on soil. I was just thinking that if I picked up after her right away, and sprayed bleach in the area that she went, would would help? I dont care if it kills the grass, it will grow back, I just want to keep my puppy healthy

What is the best type of grass to grow in my backyard? I have three dogs and live near the beach in NY. The soil is very sandy and drains well but there are many bare patches from the dogs running around and tearing it up. The yard gets some sun/some shade. Does anyone have a suggestion for what type of grass seed to purchase? I don't know anything about lawns and as long as it is green, I don't care. Thanks!

what is the best grass for me? I want grass that is safe for me and my pets to roll around in and play in. So I don't really want it to need a lot of chemicals. It needs to be strong, yet soft, bouncy, and smooth. I prefer darker grass, but any suggestions that fit this description are fine. I don't really care what type of maintenance it requires since i plan to have it taken care of by a professional. Also, I have clay soil with some areas full sun, some partial sun, and some full shade.

I've just purchased my first house and the previous owners did not take care of the lawn...? The soil is rock hard and dusty. There are rocks and tree limbs embedded in the ground. What grass is there is spotty at best. Crab grass dominates and its minions are no less hideous weeds. I am told that September is the time to get started on my lawn renovation; but, where does one start??? Thank you wise and experienced lawn care pros! P.S. - If I could afford to put down sod I would! But, like I said, I just bought my first house;)

What are some plants that would thrive in damp heavy soil and low to medium sun? My new yard is mud. Ug. Mud and left over kudzu. Im hoping the landlady didnt herbicide everything because I want a little garden. Are there any easy to care for plants-even groundcover-that can take the damp soil (even sodden) and low sun? I know bamboo can. Ornamental grasses? Euergreens? Annuals? Ideas? I mean-it really is mud... :( But I enjoy a challenge! :)

Anyone know how to keep Nut grass down? I have lots and lots of nutgrass. I pull and also spray with a product called Image. I use Roundup too. Mostly I pull the nutgrass up and discard. Its only in my flowerbeds or if its in the lawn the mower takes care of it. It was either in soil that we brought or in flowers I moved from other areas. In researching the web, other countries will levy fines on people or companies that spread this stuff and I can understand why. If I give away a plant I clean the roots until I know no nuts are hitching a ride to some other poor souls yard.

Can I plant grass seedin july? is it too hot? is there an alternative to sod? I have a are front yard that is need of care. I've laid the top soil and I am preparing to either seed or simply use sod? will the seeding take or will they burn in the summer? seeing is cheaper than sod .. i'm sick of looking at dirt and really want a green lawn immediately. thanks

Tax Question: Renovations Made To My Yard For Day Care...Is it Tax Deductible? Here is the break down: Yard Renovations for Day Care: $2587.50-Labor $972.00-Top Soil $324.00-Grass $564.73-Playground $152.81-Playground 2 $349.73-Sand/Fill _______________ $4,950.77 We had to have a yard big enough to accommodate enough space for 8 children and have something for them to do while outside as outdoor activity is mandatory everyday. The yard also has to be free of hazards like holes, which we had a lot of! We had a small rough yard with no structured activity for the children so we had to fill in the yard, get top soil, grass and build a playground. Does this qualify as a tax deduction?

suppose two lawns are planted using the same variety of grass. One is planted on Plymouth and carver sands, ..? suppose two lawns are planted using the same variety of grass. One is planted on Plymouth and carver sands, the other on Haven Loam. Because of the diffrent characteristics of these soils one of these lawns will need additional care if both lawns are to maintain the same quality. Which soil type will need additional care ?

how do i take care of rollie pollies? I found three rollie pollies today one died so i need help on how to get more and the best way to create a good enviroment for them. I put them in a plastic boddle gave them lettuce rotted leaves moist soil and grass with a rock and a twig, should that be good enough. I would also like to find more so how can i do that? please no rude comments or unintelligant answers like kill them. thank you

How can I revitalize my dying patch of Wrigley Field grass? Alright, here's the story. Last year when they replaced the outfield grass at Wrigley Field, they placed the old sod on the sidewalk to throw away and I picked up about a square foot of it on my way home. I decided to put it on my desk in a somewhat shallow pot (formerly a pie carrier) and under a grow lamp. After it stopped growing for a little while, I even added some red worms to help loosen up the compacted soil and to fertilize the grass (I put the grass trimmings back into the pot to feed the worms). It did well for awhile, there were some patches of dirt but they slowly filled in with new blades of grass. Fast forward to a couple months ago. I left town for a few weeks and left the grass in the care of my roommates. They under watered it and over trimmed it, and now I only have two blades of grass left. They both look like they're on their last leg. I don't want to add new grass seed, because the main reason I'm keeping this grass is that it's not just any grass, it's the grass from Wrigley Field, and I'd like to keep it that way. So, if possible, I want new blades of grass to grow from the two that I have left. For about a month I took very good care of them (including adding some miracle grow), with hopes that new blades of grass would shoot up. A couple blades came up, but died shortly after. As a last ditch effort, I recently moved the grass out of the shallow pot and into one that's about a foot deep to allow the roots some more space to grow. The new potting soil that I used is from Miracle Grow and has built in slow release fertilizer. The two remaining blades look slightly better, but they still seem like they could go at any minute and no new blades of grass have come up for at least a month. Sorry for the long post, but to summarize, my question is: Is there anything else I can do to help ensure that new grass begins to grow again? Or can I only wait and hope that it happens?

What to do after spraying yard with weed killer? We decided to repair the back yard of our new home. The grass was completely dead, so after planting seeds, fertilizing & lots of care, the grass has started growing back. However, in addition to the grass, tons of weeds have begun to grow. We found a weed killer spray that attaches to the hose. We sprayed a week ago & it appears that the weeds are beginning to wither away. What is the next step? Do we just wait for them to completely die, or at some point do we need to start plucking them out of the soil? Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

How do I take care of my flower bouquet? I just received a lovely assortment of flowers and grasses in a small pot, made of roses and sunflowers. Being a complete newbie at gardening, I really need some detailed steps to keeping them fresh and pretty and alive for a long time. :) Things like how much water to give them, frequency of watering the flowers, and any extra stuff to put into the soil/other steps to follow etc, would be greatly appreciated? Thanks!

My grass is dead help!? I live in washington state I am a 20 yr old who bought a duplex. The previous landlord did not take care of the grass it's YELLOW and looks DEAD. I watered it down REAL GOOD for 2 weeks and the front lawn is pretty big. There is only 1/6 of the lawn REALLY green and thick 1 area and the other part near the green area slowly started growing (in patches) and the rest just dead grass with hard packed dirt. What can I do? I know winter is coming up it's not a good time to plant, but I don't want to dig it's a BIG area and will cost a lot of money to seed + soil and after digging the front big lawn will look just dug up and ugly. What would you recommend me to do? I deeply appreciate it. Thanx!

My 3yr old is into watering plants and looking at them grow; I would love to make him some egg shell planters? so he can help me paint them and take care of them What seeds should I get for this? (if it matters I live in Florida-I would keep the planters inside the house) I share with you what I found empty an eggshell, poke a small hole the size of a pin head at each end and blow out the inside gently. Prep Time: Weekend Project What you need: seed,Potting Soil,Tempera paint,Paintbrushes,Empty egg shell Materials: food items Instructions: 1.Crack the hollow egg on the small end and gently break off the pieces until you have a small bowl. 2.Fill it with potting soil and sprinkle with grass seed. 3.Lightly cover with soil and keep moist. 4.As soon as the grass comes up, place in a sunny spot. 5.When the grass is grown, paint the shells to look like flowerpots. What seeds & have you done it in a diferent way that you can share with me?

Is Empire Zoysia a good grass? I have St Augustine Floratam right now and its a royal pain. I am constantly at war with chinch bugs. It is very inconsistent like it will grow fantastic in some areas and horribly in others. My neighbor doesn't take good care of his grass so that only complicates the weed issues. I've re-soded some of the areas, tested soil, even hired a landscape maintenance company to keep up the fertilization and a year later its a mess again. The only other grass approved for our development is Empire Zoysia and Im told it is more chinch bug resistant and easier to maintain. Would it be worth switching to this grass since Im going to have to renevate half the lawn anyway?

What type of grass grows best in wet conditions? I live in Massachusetts so we definitely have a cold season, but I was looking into grasses that grow in severely moist soil. I read about carpet and centipede grasses but I'm fairly certain it will die over our freeze cycle in the winter? I have a new construction home that when it rains turns the dirt into a mud puddle around the whole house. I know that the soil settles after some time but it's been there for two years and regardless this are has always been very wet. My family has owned the land for over 100 years and farmed it, but the plants have always done poorly in this area due to the wet soil. I was sort of hoping to find a grass that would at least drink some of that water up instead of sinking into the mud every day. Drainage ditches aren't an option for me financially, nor do I have another area to send the water, nor do I want any type of prize winning lawn. Crab grass, clover, I don't care, just make it less wet! Don't tell me other kind of plants either! Just grasses! Help!

Can anyone help me with some lawn care questions? These questions might be a little common sense, but I've never had to take care of a lawn before. If there are thin areas / small bald spots, will these fill in naturally if the grass is fertilized and watered? It seems obvious the grass will spread by itself. But since it doesn't produce any seeds as long as it is kept short, I don't really see how any more can grow than what is already there without putting down extra seed. Basically, to fill in patchy/thin areas, do I need to put down seed, or will it thicken and grow naturally if kept healthy? My second question is dealing with areas that are predominantly weeds. There is a section that is basically all weeds with barely any grass. Is the best option just digging it all up, putting down top soil and planting new grass? Or can I just spray some weed killer and allow whatever grass is there to grow and take over. Will the weed killer harm the lawn as well? I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Thanks for any help, I'll be sure to choose a best answer.

law care in august......? can i reseed the lawn in august,,, i want to start from scratch with new soil and grass seeds

outdoor grass riding ring, I want to re-do it!? Ok so I have a pretty small outdoor riding riding ring that looks nothing like the rest of my yard that has been compared to a park before. There are two levels to it, on the far side it goes upto a ledge, sort of like a x-country jump. We have cut up telephone poles as the edge (like a jump). It's very rugged, prone to mud, and the grass is in rough shape. This summer I would really like to spend some time cleaning it up, but I'm on a very tight budget. I have tried planting grass but it has somewhat acidic soil. Please any tips wood be very much appreciated. I'm not sure what my budget is but the cheaper the better, I know it's a long term thing to take care of.

What is the best type of lawn grass for the New England/Boston area? Hi. I just bought a house in a Boston suburb and the lawn is dead due to the previous owner not taking care of the yard in any way for many years. The yard was matted with dead leaves and pine needles that covered up and killed the grass. Can anyone recommend a good grass seed (or sod type) to use? I am looking for grass that: (a) Can withstand shade. There are many trees in my yard. (b) Will not require watering. It rains a fair amount up here in Boston, but when it doesn't, I don't want to have to water the lawn. (c) As much as possible, will not require fertilizer. Is there some native grass that grows well in the soil without one having to dump fertilizer on it several times per year? Are there any grasses that satisfy all these criteria, or am I asking for the moon? Thanks much! OK, I'm willing to fertilize, since it seems based on the few answers that have come in so far that this is a must. So are there any grasses that meet these criteria: (a) Can withstand shade. There are many trees in my yard. (b) Will not require watering. It rains a fair amount up here in Boston, but when it doesn't (there can be periods of drought), I don't want to have to water the lawn.

What is a good, hardy outdoor plant for Southern California? I'd like to add some vegetation to the field next to my house. The soil there is very poor, but a lot of green grass grows in it nonetheless. Since I'm planting it now or soon, it'll have to survive this summer on little water. It might have to be a pretty hardy plant also, as people often walk their dogs or run over the field. I don't particularly care about the type of plant, so I'd settle even for a field of cacti if that is what it takes to grow in that environment. I'd also prefer it to be a seed plant. What suggestions do you have for the plant and do you have any advice about how to plant it?

I have had a gray tree frog for a while, and recently a toad was moved into his cage. Is this safe? I do not want to harm the frog at all, and I know that toad's can be poisonous. The cage is half mud/potting soil and half water. There's also some grass and branches for the frog to climb on. Anything else I should know about taking care of these animals?

Need some lawn care advice (balding lawn)? Our front yard has some grass-growing issues. We think it may be caused by water runoff during rainfall. We also have three trees that might be contributing to the problem. (?) My dad has tried laying out new grass, he's tried turning the soil and he's tried blocking water run off to that area of the lawn. I would say the 'balding' is taking up about 1/4 of the front lawn....it's very noticible. Any tips? Advice? We live around Houston, TX if that makes any difference in lawn care. Thank You! :)

Nitrogen... before or after planting grass? Concerning new grass/lawn... I mixed nitrogen (turf builder- high in nitrogen) into the bare soil. It has been in the soil for a week now, and has had two days of rain to help it seep into the dirt. I have been churning/aerating it almost daily. I am planning to seed the lawn in two days, with a full week of sunny days and rising temperatures in the forecast. My question is, would it be better to treat the soil beforehand as I am doing, or plant the grass first and add nitrogen AFTER it begins to grow? In case it matters... -It is Sahara Turf-Type Bermuda Grass. -I am aware of the temperature requirements. -All other soil levels are optimal (just needed nitrogen). -This concerns the initial treatment only. I realize it must also be treated later. -The previous nitrogen levels were virtually nonexistent. Also, I have a box of Miracle Grow for a "Garden Feeder". Should I add one last round of nitrogen to the soil with that, or is that going a bit overboard? Additionally, would the Miracle Grow stay in the soil long enough to do the seeds any good, because I treated a section of the yard's soil with that after running out of turf builder (one week ago, as with the turf builder)? This is my first legitimate lawn. I am completely new to lawn care, and am having to learn as I go. I appreciate any advice that anyone can give me. I respect people who have this stuff down to a science. It involves more than I realized. Further elaboration concerning answers... As stated, the nitrogen IS needed, as the "previous nitrogen levels were almost nonexistent" I have already done a complete soil test to determine what is needed, as I insinuated in saying "all other soil levels are optimal" I do not intend to harm the surrounding ecosystem by adding too much nitrogen. One of my questions asks if it would be too much nitrogen. I am combining these answers with all of my research and hearsay to be sure that I add the perfect amount of everything. I am very excited to have my first lawn to care for. Any other advice is much welcome.

What grass? Hot & dry summers, very high shade, and PECAN TREES? Please help, we need a green lawn! We have a VERY bare backyard due to almost full shade (pecan trees). I've heard pecan trees zap the nutrients from the soil, and that might be part of the reason why we don't have grass. I'm in OK so the summers are hot and dry. We barely even get weeds in our backyard. It's all dry dirt. What kind of grass will grow for us? I don't really care how it looks, just as long as it will grow. I've heard Canada Grass was good but after a little research I see it's got to be replanted every year? What grass is shade, heat, and drought tolerant with little maintenance & will grow in OK's clay soil? Thanks!

How can I grow grass for my pets when I don't have a garden? Now, I know this is a stupid question and probably the most funny and ridiculous one you've heard but please bear with me! Basically, I have two guinea pigs and two largish white rabbits. I am running out of straw and hay for them and the place I get it from hardly ever gets it now. So I'm stuck as I'm in a city-ish place and straw/hay/etc is hard to come by. Local grass is not such a good idea due to trash, pollution, and anti-bug spray to name a few issues. The other day I came up with the idea of growing tall grass to then cut up for my pets. The only problem is that both my front yard and back yard are covered with marble. There is no place to grow stuff aside from pots all of which are filled by my parents plants and flowers. So, I was wondering if I could possibly grow tall grass in pots or even a wooden box. I had this idea to get my dad help me make a large box out of strong wood, fill it with clean soil (if that makes any sense) and plant the grass in there. I would water it as a normal garden and harvest the grass likewise. But would this work? Or would it only become a miserable flop? Any thoughts on how I can do this successfully? Thanks a million in advance!! P.S. I know this probably sounds immature and makes you cringe, but please don't berate me for not having enough money to buy proper stuff. I'm not rich and just have enough to feed them. I would buy straw and hay but I can't find any in my area. My dad is real busy and I have to take care of the family pets. They're not even mine, not really, but I don't mind that. I just want to take care of them properly and that's why I'm asking this question. Thanks! ;-)

How to take care of lawn ? Hi, i am living in Tampa Florida, i just bought a house. and i really need to take care of my lawn. the front yard has Floratam grass( yellow and a litlle green ) some parts are completely dead, brown and u can see the roots. some parts weeds took over. the backyards the grass is spread, a lot of weeds , you can see the soil in some area and need to be overseed . I am sure i will have to sod the front yard ( 800 sq/ft ) because this is not a big area. the backyard ( 4000 sq/ft ) will be with seed. but I don't know where to start or what to do first. Can anyone help me . thank you

What should grape plants look like? A few weeks ago, I collected some seeds from the red grapes I bought at the supermarket and put them in some potting soil. They've since started growing pretty well, but the leaves don't look anything like typical grape leaves. Right now, all of the plants have 4-5 long leaves, almost like grass, and the leaves are about 5 inches long and 2-3 mm wide. Is this normal? How should I take care of these baby plants?

How to fix my dead-patched lawn? At the beginning of summer there were spots on the lawn. I thought it was just lack of water and tried watering it more, but they still seem dead. I just tried pulling on the dead grass and it came up as a clump very easily, compared to the healthy grass next to it. This leads me to believe I have white grub infestation, but I couldn't find any when I dug up the soil. How can I take care of this problem and make sure it's grub worms????

Caterpillar Care Help Please !?!? My dad found some caterpillars in the garden, so I put them into a container with some soil, cabbage and grass. The only problem is that two of them seem to have disappeared and the other two seem to have laid eggs and covered them in a kind of web. I know that caterpillars do not lay eggs so I was wondering if anyone could help please :). One of the caterpillars is a luminous green and has appeared to lay green yellow eggs. The other caterpillar is a dark grey green and has appeared to lay dark (almost brown) eggs. Although it could just be poo, but I still don't see understand why they are covered in kind of web, and where the other two have gone?

Snake Care Tips !!!!!? Ok, I have a Strped bronzeback about 11 inches i put it in a shoebox with holes, you think thats ok?I don't have an extra tank and my parents wont allow me to buy one. Now, I put a little lizard which they eat, but I left the lizard there and it never ate it. I need help, 1 HOW OFTEN SHOULD I LET IT DRINK ? ] 2 WAT SHOULD IT PUT TO MAKE HIM FEEL MORE AT HOME ?? ( I put a stick a rock where it hides and a little grass, should I put soil or anything else) 3 WAT CAN I FEED IT ? (must not be bought) 4 SHOULD I STOP CHECKING ON IT TOO MUCH ? 5 WAT ELSE CAN I USE TO PUT HIM IN AND MAKE LIGHT BE ABLE TO COME IN? 6. ITS VERY SHY AND NERVOUS HOW CAN I MAKE IT MORE COMFIDENT? PLEASE GIVE MORE TIPS ON STRIPED BRONZEBACKS AND I JUST WANT AN ANSWER COMMENT IF YOUVE ANSWERED PROPERLY.

how tall should you let new grass get before 1st cut? i had a lot of bare spots in lawn so i gently loosened the soil with a rake and planted seed [ contracters mix,from home depot]....its been 2 or 3 weeks,,the grass is coming in better than i expected,,is around 6 or 7inches tall or so...i'm tempted to cut it but i've been told to let it get very tall before the 1st cut,maybe 10 inches or more,,but i'm concerned it will start to lay over on its side by then due the thin nature of this type of grass..but i dont want to cut too soon either???..i have a typical 22 inch gasoline powered walk-behind mower.....i'm having the house appraised monday,will be putting it on the market soon,dont want grass to be too tall,making it look to the the appraiser like we dont take care of our lawn ,,although rest of house is immaculate,,do appraisers care about the lawn??

Good desert grass to grow for tortoise enclosure? I am looking to add a little vegetation into my Russian tortoise's enclosure. What edible plants grow well in very sandy, mostly dry soil? I am looking for something hardy to supplement his diet. My substrate is play sand and Ecoearth, can add a bit of something else if needed, but, would really like a desert type plant that prefers sand and arid environment. Most grasses/legumes I know of will need a lot more care and attention- as well as avoid very sandy soils. Thanks!

Lawn care advice - how to get my lawn in order? I live in a house that is about 6 years old and was built in one of these areas that was once woodland / pasture and the whole area was cleared to make room for home development. The soil type is red clay I believe. Many areas of my yard need attention but I am concerned mostly with my back yard. There are parts of the yard (around the house and deck) that are still green and lush although quickly being overrun with weeds. However, its the other areas of the back yard that I really dont know what to do with. Basically half of my back yard no longer grows grass. There is ground cover but it is some type of weed that is super slow growing and has petals that remind you over clover but isnt. It also grows on what looks like some type of vine system that is thin and sits basically on the ground. Its hard to explain because I dont believe it really is a vine. Anyway, the areas affected by this plant are completely covered but covered very thin and you can see the soil beneath it. For example, I bought scotts turf gaurd with plus 2 weed control. It was supposed to be applied wet so it can adhere to the leaves of the plants but this area is so thing that all the granules just fell through and are now lawing on the dirt below. Grass doesnt seem to want to grow here. Someone told me that it looks like when they cleared the area that they also cleared away most of the top soil. I mentioned dethatching (heavy thatch over most of my yard), aerating and then reseeding but this person told me to just seed in Feb and forget about it. I really want a nice yard so that doesn't seem like the best course of action really... With an area like the one I described would it be best to use roundup on the whole area and give it a few weeks and then order a load of topsoil and till it in with the existing soil and start over from scratch? The weeds win - I dont know what is the best thing to do. I am rambling I guess but I dont know a lot about lawn care so let me know any other details I need to add and i'll do my best to out that information in there. Thanks btw I am in KY - zone 6 in case that makes any difference.

Moss instead of grass: how can I encourage moss to grow in my yard instead of grass? Our back yard is currently 35-45% covered in moss. The house/ property is on a hillside, and there's no topsoil or loose material really left on it. Because my wife is also allergic to grass, we want the moss to spread and cover the whole back yard, but we don't know how to go about doing it. 1. How can I go about determining what types of moss are already growing in my yard? 2. I know moss likes a higher soil acidity. After I do a pH test, what chemicals can I use to ensure my soil has the proper pH balance? 3. During the winter, all the leaves fall off the trees and there's lots more sunlight reaching the yard than in the warmer months: will this harm the moss already growing? 4. I haven't raked up the leaves that just finished falling; will leaving the leaves on the ground, covering the moss, allow the moss to take advantage of less sunlight/ spread more easily, or should I go ahead and blow/ rake my yard? 5. We have two dogs and they love to run in the back yard; what kinds of mosses are the most robust/ can withstand the most foot traffic? 6. How long will it take, if I follow proper moss-lawn care, for the moss to spread to cover most of the yard? Thanks so much for any/ all suggestions in advance!!

Need help with my grass? Ok i need the help of you savvy gardeners! I have a problem with my grass. 2 problems really. The first being that my garden is very patchy, lushes green grass in places and yellowy patches in others! I would like my gardnen to be all 1 tone, but how? The other problem is there seems to be a lot of moisture down the bottom end of the garden, its always in the shade, the soil is very spongey, you can feel your feet sink slightly. How do i get rid of this? It might be worth noting that i have a dog and over the winter months the garden was used as his toilet, whilst i was ill. I'm now better and want my garden back, i think i read somewhere about restoring the soils ph balance....not even sure what this means let alone how to do it so any help would be great. Also as you can tell i'm not very good with gardening and in all honesty this is my first garden i've had to take care of! Any help for this beginner would be great, =D x x Thanks for the answers so far. The wetter end of the garden has grass and it is green but very bare, it doesnt seem to be growing well at all. Im thinking of putting a shed down there if the problem cant be fixed. The only thing causing the shade is the fence, i have no trees of flowers, so that cant be causing it. The patchy area although not helped by my dog i think is mainly caused by lack of good soil. I believe when the house were built (its a new house, less than a year old) the builder/gardener used old mud along with brick and stone fragments mixed in with some soil and just threw on the seeds.( i have nosey neighbours that didnt miss a trick when the house was built!) They areas in which the dog is peeing is actually the lushes green grass! Dont ask me how or why but it honestly is!

grass has bare spots and is brown in areas where i killed crabgrass. Will it come back or should I seed? I used ortho weed be gone to kill weeds and crabgrass that were overrrunning my lawn. I went away for a few weeks and when i came back there were brown spots all over the lawn. There are not really many bare spots, but where the grass is brown the ground has become "sandy" and bumpy. Do I need to do something to the soil? I still have weeds and some crabgrass. Should I put a fertilizer with weed killer down now or just wait til the spring for that? Is it more important to seed now or to get the lawn under control with respect to weeds? Please help. The lawn was great when we moved in last year, but we did not take good care of it this year and it looks terrible. Can we get it back????? Thanks

Do you believe dirt/soil can, by itself, move and come together to create a sentient being with a soul/spirit? Now I have, for many years, grown a garden, and I know that that soil in my garden has the capacity to support life, that will, in turn support me, and my family's lives...but somehow, the life that supports my life, has to be placed there by a sentient/spiritually driven life form, that being me....I put the beets, the carrots, the potatoes, the tomatoes, the pumpkins, the cucumbers, the beans, the lettuce, the parsnips, the peppers etc, etc in it, and then care for it to make sure that it is all healthy and growing well. How about the same life forms getting there by themselves without any outside help from a sentient/intelligent being - could it happen? Could all the plants get there without my help? Would they get there in the same fashion/order that I have placed them without my help, or similar assistance or life forms? The human body is roughly 80% water, the same as grass...the other five percent consists of atoms that make up small particles of the living structure-cells, DNA, muscle tissue, brain matter, organs, hair follicles, skin cells, eye matter, etc, etc...the body can also recognize an order in things, and the purpose for which their life exists, and it also has limitations put upon it due mostly in part because of the confinement to their surroundings, consisting solely of the planet we call earth, in which, as far as human knowledge can confirm, is the only planet with life forms contained. It is the "living" planet if you will. It has all the necessary criteria to support life, it regenerates or replenishes itself through the mating process. And from what we know, this has been the only means of conceiving for as long as records have been kept. Since this is the current state of things and man tries to make life easier for himself through technology, and technology is to man's credit...what being or process, outside of man, could take dirt/soil, and water, or other parts of matter, and form what we call as "life"? Your thoughts are welcome...

why would Scotts Grass Seed Company even tell their customers to cut back on the watering after seed germinate? am getting conflicting view points or opnions on this..first of all the soil is mostly clay dirt...that have..and am using fescue seed. I put down the seed at the first week of September..and so has had well over 1 month now to establish..but since we have been still having fairly warm days in autumn...but cool nights..my lawn care person just advised me to water EVERY day still for next 3-4 weeks..but i called Scotts to just confirm and they are saying that its okay to do that..but not really needed..they say it is best to cut back on the watering to 2-3 times per week after the seed has germinated..but how this is likely that a grass seed company would advise NOT WATERING THE SEEDLINGS EVERY DAY?

What if this oil spill destroys the sea grass? Sea grass, also called phytoplankton is the essence of our life. It basically converts carbon dioxide into oxygen, therefore providing life to everything on our earth. No one really wants to address or explain this issue in the media--if this oil spill won't stop or if this 10 mile long oil floating beneath the surface of the ocean grows, then we all will be in very deep trouble--yet, BP already wants a cap on what they would have to pay for the damages. Aside from those damages currently talked about is the fact that hurricane season is already here and there is no telling when the first one will show up!!!! If a hurrican would hit the gulf coast at this time the disaster would be so huge, I don't think people want to talk about it. All that oil would be pushed into land, into our rivers, contaminate our soil and drinking water---yet, BP wants a cap on what they have to pay. Let alone that we all will have to pay for the losses of fish with higher prices at the cash register. Yet, BP only wants to pay for valid claims. Do you think that BP should be let off the hook or do you feel like I do--have them pay for ALL of it, including the higher prices at the cash register. I really think thatthey should make up the difference so that people don't feel the impact of this disaster in their wallets. I also think that they ought to pay for all expenses, lives lost, families that have no income, fishermen who lost their livelihood, and of course, reimburse the government for all resources provided by it. I don't care if BP goes down the drain with it--I watched 60 minutes yesterday and happen to believe what this guy told the reporter: that BP and Transocean violated safety regulation by turning a blind eye--Heck, they didn't even follow their emergency rules---they did not have to leave those 11 people there, they just hopped into the lifeboats and ran--leaving their co-workers to die.....I say let them go down into ruins by demanding from the government not to put a cap on what they have to pay......agree or disagree? Phytoplankton is called the "grass of the ocean" in my country. So, I know what phytoplankton is---at is the essence of life--it's also needed for the ocean's eco system. So what if too much goes down with the oil? Especially now that they worry about this oil going to the east coast? Are you willing to pay more for your fish because we got to import it? Are you still willing to support off shore drilling? Most of all, are you just so willing to allow companies like BP to put profits over safety? Eleven people died because of their wreckless ignorance of safety---and what about all those jobless fishermen? Are you willing to give them a monthly paycheck just hoping the problem will go away by itself? This is the perfect example of how man ruins the environment he lives in---Or, are you going to call your representative to make sure that they vote against a cap on what these companies have to pa????

What would you grade this Cricket Care Report? I would like a percentage and a truth full answer.? of living animals: START__6_____ END___0_____ (5pts) Animal: Cricket (1pt) (Common name- be specific) 1.Give the complete taxonomical classification of you animal:(7pts) Kingdom Animalia Phylum Arthropoda Class Insecta Order Orthoptera Suborder Ensifera Family Gryllidae Subfamily Gryllinae Genus Acheta Speciesdomesticus 2.Describe in detail, the cage you used for you animal. Be sure to include environmental condition of soil type, temperature, humidity, water, space, and cover. How did you maintain a healthy environment for your animals? Include a photograph or drawing of your cage. (5pts) I had a cage that contained a plastic floor and "ceiling", and the wall of the cage was a fence that rapped all the way around. The fence helped the crickets to have the ability to climb around and also gave them air to breath. The floor was flat and covering the floor was a potato, which was replaced with everyday, a warm wet paper towel that was folded, and a small index card that was folded in various ways to make a food bucket. At the top was a paper towel that was usually rapped around the ceiling with a rubber band so the crickets could not get out. The humidity was usually low, or about the same as it is in an average house. The temperature was usually around the high seventies. I kept the crickets on my closet shelf because I usually keep the fan on in my room. 3.Describe the natural habitat of you animal. Be thorough. (5pts) The natural habitat of a house cricket is an region where there is warm air and food. Crickets have been found in woodlands, suburb, urban areas, restaurants, in siding of homes and many more places. Crickets are usually attracted to heat. That is why they are usually found by heaters, fireplaces, and stoves. When outside of the home, crickets are found in tall grass, mulch, logs, rocks, and almost under anything else. 4.What aspects of your animal's natural habitat did you have the hardest time stimulating.? (5pts) The arduous aspect would have been the temperature and the warm humidity. My house is normally cold so I placed the crickets at the top shelf of my closet. I picked my closet because it was the warmest place in the house, and I picked the top shelf because heat rises. I also kept them in my closet because there was not as much of a draft as there was in my room. 5.Every attempt at Animal Husbandry is a learning process. A.Did any of your animals die or show signs of illness/ starvation? Why or why not? (4pts) Yes, in the beginning, about a day after receiving my crickets, there were two crickets the would stay on the floor of the cage as if to rest from being tired. I noticed they were usually on the floor every time I checked on them but were moving. Sadly, in less than two days after receiving my crickets, both had died. A few days later another pair of crickets died. One of them had seemed fine, but when I went back to recheck on them a minute later one had died. The last two died when I was away, but I had given them extra amounts of food and water to last the weekend, but they were on their backs when I returned. B.What were the hardest obstacles to overcome in caring for you animals? Explain. (4pts) My hardest obstacle was to keep the area warm and to have no draft come around. Eventually, I had turned of my fan when I had the last two left. They had survived longer than the others after that because of no draft. C.Explain what you could differently in the future to better raise this same animal. Be specific. (4pts) I could probably start off raising them with no draft, or fan, in the area they live in. I think that was my main problem, for they kept dying until I turned my fan off. Answer the following questions about your animal. You may have to use the grasshopper dissecting guide in class, the crickets handout from Animals in the Classroom, or another source you find on ou own to answer some of these questions. 6.Although crickets need a dry moist environment to thrive, they also require some moist soil. For what do they need moist soil? (1pt) They need moist soil because this is where they lay their eggs. 7.How many legs does a cricket have? (1pt)six legs 8.How many pairs of legs does a cricket have? (1pt)Three 9.Do crickets have jointed legs? (1pt)Yes 10.Are crickets legs attached to its abdomen? (1pt) No 11.What is the name of the tubules that crickets excrete waist through? (1pt)Malpighian 12.How many antennae does a cricket have? (1pt)Two 13.Through what organ do crickets breath? (1pt)Trachea 14.Where are the breathing openings located? (1pt)Under the abdomen 15.How many pairs of wings do crickets have?Two pairs 16.Are crickets diurnal or nocturnal? (1pt)Nocturnal 17.What are the two main purposes of a crickets chirp?

would anyone care to read this poem? Title : Edward Brown? The sun falls through autumn leaves And lights a chiseled stone Filled with buried memories Encased in rock and bone "Always in our thoughts" it reads "Forever in our hearts" Love brought him into this world But death tore him apart Somber tears slide down my nose And land upon his tomb Weathered petals shroud the soil Where roses used to bloom Grass has overgrown the grave A wayward bed of thorns I scan the date above his head He passed as I was born I did not know Edward Brown But he smiles as I cry He says "death is part of life" You have to say goodbye" "Son, as you lose your loved ones Please try to remember If you keep them in your heart They live on forever"

how do you look after wild snails? hi i found a snail outside on a leaf and i want to keep it as a pet seen as how im not allowed i dont no how i should care for it what do i feed it? ive got it in a big container wiv a lid with lots of slits in in the container there is grass , soil , leaves , a flower and a bit of apple and a rock. this is a temporary home for my snail , eric im going to find something more suitable. please if you think its cruel to keep a pet snail tell me so i can set it free im only 13 so please dont be to harsh im very sensitive. thanks for your time xxxxxx yeah calm down im puttin it back u ent gotta be so sarcastic and bitchy just say i think you should put it back and i will! GOSH some people! hes back in the wild now :) he will be happier there! thanks for makin me see sense :D im gonna buy a pet snail thats supposed to be a pet x

Looking after a turfed lawn? Over the winter, my grass vanished from my back garden, except for a few small patches here and there. It had survived the previous winter, so this was something of a mystery to us! We have been advised that our soil is clay based and I decided to completely returf to get our grass back. What kind of perperation should I do first before laying turf and what kind of after care should I do? Will it need a lot of attention earlier on instead of later? Any help appreciated.

Please advise on proper lawn care for stickers and thorns? I am trying to kill these weeds that have very sharp stickers with thorns in my Mom's yard. I bought a weed killer for emerging weeds from Scott's that attached to the hose and sprayed it a few days ago. I don't want to kill the grass she currently has. I read that the stickers do not like competition and that the soil needed to be healthy with lots of grass so the stickers would not have room to grow. How can I feed the lawn easily without killing it? How hard is it to spread grass seeds? What product can I use that is attached to the hose for distribution to feed the lawn and kill the weeds at the same time? This is the product I used a few days ago: http://www.scotts.com/smg/catalog/productTemplate.jsp?proId=prod10280044&itemId=cat50064

Grass problem please help.? We only have a small lawn but the soil underneath is very hard even after we have watered it thoroughly there are lots of bald patches and it just looks generally rubbish. We have tried lawn care products but nothing seems to make it look lush. Any ideas what to do. Thanks.

how to care for existing rose bushes? We moved into a rental a while ago and there are a couple of tall (prob 1.4m?) rose bushes in the front yard, one by the mailbox on the front left edge of the lawn, and the other in the middle front edge of the yard. I don't know much about roses but I've been pruning the dead bits away when they need it and they seem to be healthy. Even though our house is a rental we want to spend a bit of $$ to fix up the front garden (not too much, obviously) & are thinking about a DIY project. I want to create a flowerbed around each of the bushes using a ring of stones and some soil - with the first one, incorporating the mailbox and other plants as an attractive focal point, and with the 2nd one (the one in the middle) add a lattice or trellis behind it. My question is how to go about it without damaging the plants? I'm afraid to dig up the soil around the roots as the bushes have been there for a while and I don't want to damage them. Should I just layer the soil around the roses on top of the existing grass, like making a raised flowerbed? And what kind of soil or mulch should I use?

How do I care for horses and pasture when rotating them out? I didn't ask this properly so I removed it and am trying to reword it here. I have 2 geldings, Tenn. Walking Horses. I have never rotated them till this year but this is what I'm attempting this year. I have 12 acres, 1/2 pasture, 1/2 wooded/pasture. I have reseeded the pasture (tall fescue) and moved them to the wooded side. I have hard clay soil here and can't spend a fortune in soil amendments so what I plan on is moving them off till the grass grows in good enough to mow twice. Then put them back on once the clippings have settled back in. When it rains I plan on moving them to the wooded section to prevent damage to field and allow recovery time for the grasses. The questions are, How long do I need to keep the horses off after mowing, and is there any danger of the grass going to seed and causing founder? What do I look for, if anything? I do have the pasture sprays to kill toxic weed/growth, and fertilize 1-2 times yearly. I will be liming the field this fall. Any suggestions?

what are some large low maintenance shade plants? i live in Ohio zone 6 my yard is bare dirt. does anyone know the largest cheap plants for shade? i don't care if they are tall or short just cover a lot. i can't get grass to grow. also best if it has high tolerance to cold and heat and can survive in different soils and some drought ect. annual is a must i don't care for gardening so i really don't want to buy these every year and replant. thanks

God Finds Out About Lawn Care? Anyone with a lawn can appreciate this joke. I got it from: http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/archives/gardening/gardening.htm "Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four step chemical dependency. Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this: "Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles." "It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass." "Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?" "Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn." "The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy." "Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it; sometimes twice a week. "They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?" "Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags." "They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?" "No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away." "Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?" "Yes, sir." "These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work." "You aren't going believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it." "What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life." "You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away." "No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?" "After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves." "And where do they get this mulch?" "They cut down trees and grind them up." "Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?" "Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..." "Never mind I think I just heard the whole story." Sorry kinda long Oh my God some people are retards! IT'S A JOKE!

care to pick your favorite/leaset favorite poems(s) for me? :)? Hello :) I am trying to go through the poems I have written to select a few for my class. Any editing/critisizing would be appreciated! Thank you :) 1. The Forest Snow Oh how the peaceful forest rests, Under a spell, an enchantment of tunes, As the trees creek softly back and forth, And the mocking bird sings its sweet song, As the pure blanket of snow covers the forest whole, With a windy chill and gentle flow, The cotton snow continues to peacefully blow, Gently tucking in upon the earth, Falling as if angels’ feathers from heaven above, Virgin territory, Fresh and pure, Untouched and beautiful, No soul dare touch, So delicate and fresh, Like a diamond in the rough, Light streams round about, Bursting through the sleepy tree branches, Sparkling like the far stretched seas, Glistening like a little one’s deep blue eyes, Yet gentle and rich, like a brown eyed dream, For as early as the hunter may rise, Guilt is sure to be on his mind, For that first step he takes upon sacred ground, Is a step into a sense of enchantment, Like dream, Peaceful and clear, Yet somehow in a daze. 2. Winter Breaks The sun comes up, The night is gone, Trees breathe life, As the chill loosens its grasp, Finally! Warmth is the air, Not so long now, till spring is here, Winter will enjoy its lengthy break, It will rest, and not come back, Till Christmas time is almost here, Flowers will bloom, The rain will pour, Green buds will burst forth, Butterflies will flutter graciously about, As children reach up giggling, Trying to catch up with their where a bouts Oh what spring time joy! 3. Front Porch Lemonade The creek beneath my feet, As I try to escape this harsh summer heat, The gentle rocking of an old porch chair, As I slowly slip into daze like ease, Pressing a cold glass to my lips, I take sip of that wonderful, sweet retreat, Lemonade, my summer’s day treat, Soft and chilled, Like a fresh snow flake, Calming yellow, As if meant to be mental condenser, I cherish these lovely, rich days, When the good old times seem here to stay As the heavy sun slowly disappears, And the crickets come and play their percussion instruments, Relaxation as high as it could be Oh how I love that front porch lemonade! 4. Strawberries So sweet and fruitful, Luscious and red, So soft and full of life Like a child playing with a red balloon, The tasty smell, So pleasing to smell, A gentle tingling, Like a feather to the nose, Popping in color, As it grows out of dark, green vines A delight to the human eye, The precious memories, Of Warm summer days, When a little child, With a woven spun basket, And a baby blue bonnet, Reach out and pluck, With its small, chubby fingers, The delightful eye popper, Of fresh grown strawberries Oh what childhood joy! 5. Gravel The crunch of a homecoming, The noise of the night, The sound of a warm, fall day, Walking in the forests by night, A simple, familiar noise, Of the crinkle of the road less traveled on, Gravel, An old time acquaintance 6. Spring Days Oh how I crave those luscious, still days, With blue birds singing, Bright flowers blooming, The dark, moist smell of soil, A feeling of renewal, The season of colors, So fresh and soft, Like a newborn baby. The trees are bursting forth, Green buds of shade, And crisp blades of grass, Carpet upon the earth once more, The air so fresh, It’s truly rejuvenating, Warm and soft, And ever so inviting, How long must I wait, For those beautiful spring days, When the world is reborn, And awaken to a new year. 7. Warm Summer Days Oh, how I miss those warm summer days, When all the world is so off pace, And lazy days go by and by, While the sun hangs lowly in the sky, I lay down slowly on the luscious green, As the hot sun casts a spell upon me, Its green-texture cool and crisp, Like a freshly turned pillow beneath my head, As a gentle breeze puts me at ease, All the days troubles swiftly drift away, Wild Flowers brush against my face, With colors so full and fresh, As if coming from an artist’s canvas, The sweet aroma putting me to sleep, Almost like in a timeless dream, Bees buzzing and lawn mowers humming, Fresh cut grass and barefooted children, Butterflies fluttering and tree leaves dancing, All tell me to lay down and stay, And just to enjoy this warm summer daze, Stay and lay, For just a little bit longer…. 8. The Enchantment of the Night Have you ever walked in the midst of the dark? Do you know the enchantment of this different world? The bright summer stars, Wink at me, Almost as though they are flirting with me, I look up to them, As a nightingale sings sweetly to its lover, The bright, glowing moon, illuminates the earth below, I lo Sorry. Number 8 got cut off.Here it is. The Enchantment of the Night Have you ever walked in the midst of the dark? Do you know the enchantment of this different world? The bright summer stars, Wink at me, Almost as though they are flirting with me, I look up to them, As a nightingale sings sweetly to its lover, The bright, glowing moon, illuminates the earth below, I look around in the garden and see, Deep, plump grapes, just as purple as can be Green ivory reaches up to what now is gone, Decorating my palace elegantly and whole, The aroma is peaceful and full, As the dew perches on the sweet roses tips, The lake sparkles like the stars up above, Creating none other than a mid night dream The fields rise and fall, As the wind gently flows over its long, mangled mane, The tree branches sway, As they rock softly to and fro, Yes, welcome to the Enchantment of the night. Thanks! And if you need an age to go by, its 14. I like that! ( I'm name after that type of heather! :) Thats a great poem

Lawn care....any suggestions? I bought this house 2 1/2 years ago and I am going into my 3rd season with the lawn. I have lot's of clay dirt and that's a battle on it's own. I have used Scots steps each year and it's improved a great deal, I also used some liquid fertilizers during the summer months for roots and color, strength etc. I am working on patching bare spots...most of them are 12inX12in. I usually dig out 1/2 to 1 inch of the clay and put in a mixture of top organic top soil moisture with a good Quality seed (Scott's premium mix) and starter fertilizer. I make sure the entire lawn (1 arce) is well watered through the dry months.... so I have that covered! The problem: It looks spotty in places, different colors and it's not uniform, there are large patches that are great, healthy, thick, green grass like a golf course but in some areas for no apparent reason look discolored and weak. why is that...and is there anything that can be

Too good to be true? Anole care.? Ok, I have done a lot of research, and i think I want to choose an anole to put in my 10 gallon tank that was previously used by my gray tree frogs. A lot of people say that these lizards them selves are cheap but they're equipment can cost from 60-100 dollars. HOWEVER I already have some of the things i need (UVB lamp, screen lid with part of it covered to hold in moisture, A good stick n' some flat rocks, the 10g tanks, spray bottle, cricket keeper) And supposedly experienced anole keepers say that as long as I keep an environment that is really good at maintaining humidity, A UVB light will be the only heating equipment needed. (which i mentioned before, I have) What I plan on doing, Is getting substrate that holds moisture well (that stuff that looks like, and might very well end up being potting soil) With possibley some store bought moss. Then add in 2 artificial plants i plan on buying at the store, the flat rocks, a hiding pace i'll get at the store, Maybe I'll find another good stick, That screen i mentioned before, and the 20 watt UVB light. Also a theometer. So, This is all gonna end up costing me about $20-$25. I think i remember seeing anoles in petsmart and I'm gonna check to see if petco has em. I'm expecting the anole to be 7-10 dollars, I hope petco has em cuz I like that place. So Is this really All i need? Am I going to be able to get away with only spending bout $25? I'm going ATLEAST see if I like it tomorrow, so any information you have on them will be great! also, If you wanna make a suggestion of what other lizard i can put in a 10g tank, be free to suggest away. This is the list i made of lizards/geckos I was considering 1. Leopard Gecko 2. Crested Gecko 3. House Gecko 4. Long tailed grass lizard 5. Green Anole <-- The one I think I'm going to get tomorrow.

Lawn problem, novice here with lawn care, please help? i have a big backyard, and i am from upstate NY. i want to have nice green level lawn, i don't know what to do. I went to Lowes and the gardening sales person sold me soil, maneuer (i don't know if it spelled like this) and something to rake and aire the lawn. the lawn looks bad, it has leaves and the grass that grows in some parts is green in others is brown, etc. I don't know if i should just get someone to come and do the whole yard for me and level it, or do you think i can do this myself one spot at a time. Please any help any ideas will be appreciated. Do you know it it's expensive to get this done? Thank you in advance, please let me know.

How do developed world leaders sit next to African dictators ie mugabe in summit , read about poverty and stil still aford to keep quiet diplomacy, If u were a world leader what would you do about it, Profile of Zimbabwe and believe it, this is real No electricity for 20 hours of the day Constant water cuts No fuel for cars No food in shops, literally no food at all imagine an empty Tesco that is Zimbabwe Education system has totally collapsed, o level students have to wait 3 to 5 yrs for a certificate from Zimsec Unemployment 80 percent No medical care standards at all No freedom of speech I have to go back to No food, walk into a bakery there is no bread being sold to the common man it is reserved for the rich people of whom only get bread after two week periods No milk because there are no white farmers, believe me that is the reason Farms that once belonged to whites have reverted back to nature, ie nothing grows on the soil but grass Still after all an 83 old dictator is respected by all SADC leaders especially Mbeki might i add, WHY?

Baby bunny living in captivity, help? Well I found a baby bunny and I think I'm taking good care if it, but just to be safe I'm asking these. I prechew hard food for him (carrots, celery) I give him water, and an area to burrow, and a thermal light bulb I put dirt/soil on the bottom and grass on the top, a water bin in a corner, and food spread out. Is what I'm doing ok? And is there anything I can do to help him

What is healthier for a cat a litter box or my back yard? Hi, I'm new in this...I'm taking care of a 1 year old cat since last month. My cat uses a place under a tree which has only soil and no grass every time she wants to go. She has plenty of space in the backyard but she always uses the same spot I dont know why. I think I have to change the soil because its starting to stink even though I've cleaned it many times. Should I get her a litter box instead? I'm starting to think that her toenails can get infected with the soil everytime she covers what she does.

is it really impossible that bio-engineers cannot come up with? sod / grass that is not susceptible to bugs, weeds, too much/too little water? i believe that if they did scotts, ortho and all related lawn care companies and products would go out of business and thats why the weeds will grow under ANY circumstances but the grass dies the minute the soil isnt perfect, there's too much/too little water, etc.... especially here in florida where s**t grows year round i mean bugs only eat the grass thats planted, never the weeds? someone is holding back here. i want to know who it is. also out of nowhere i had a mushroom sprout up that was 10 inches across.

What Do I need to do about my Back yard/Hill? Hi, I have a delima about the hill behind my house. I am wanting to plant grass on it, but I am Not too sure if Grass will grow good in the soil i have, and If it isn't going to grow, what suggestions would you give as to what to plant that will grow and be an evergreen? My soil is sort of like a fine shell orange colored dirt. Not clay... It isnt too steep and has SOME grass growing in patches on it now. # years ago, I purchased some Azaleas and planted them towards the bottom. But they aren't growing too fast. they are good and healthy, but still much smaller then I expected. I am looking for easy maintainance and care. I want to stop using the wedeater on the hill and either push mow it, or let something grow like some kind of shrub. I have pictures but i do not know how to add them to this ask and answer so if you could help, let me know and I will e-mail them too you for your expert opinion. Many thanks to all suggestions Also, I do not want to put down top soil, it is too much area to cover Also, i live in Southern west va. that may be helpful

tortoise experts ?!? im getting a tortoise but 1st i need to ask a few questions to ppl who own tortoises as some of the info iv gathered is conflicting, firstly id like to say he wont be kept in a viv at any time ! i hate them and theres no need hel have a table in the lounge and a outdoor enclosure my local vet practices care for torts hes on standby for me to register my tort and give him the once over , from whaat iv read i rather he didn eat pellets at all so im going to feed him naturally with the odd treat of mashed carrot or brown bread soaked in milk is that ok ? my other question is on my inside enclosure im going to use newspaper what should i use outside some ppl say half soil half playsand other ppl say grass i know woodchips ect are not advised as my tort will eat it ,i also no they need a high fibre diet , one last question plz :) how often should i bath him i heard every other day but i also heard 1 a month i dont want to bath him to much or not enough , my tort is a 4" herman and he 4yrs i would just like to add he will have a uv on the table and a cool hidaway the outside will have a large shady section , o wen i turn the lights off at night do i leave the uv on all night ?

Edit my essay please.? English ENG 4U An Infinite Relationship The novel What Dreams May Come, written by Richard Matheson, is a well-known novel featuring such brilliance that it contains not only an admirable story– but within that story– a sense of clarity, brevity, accuracy, and picturesqueness. The title is derived from a quote in Shakespeare’s Hamlet which briefly describes the plot of the story: “For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, / When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, / Must give us pause” (Shakespeare III.i.74-76). Thus, the quote reveals that What Dreams May Come is about the afterlife; and within the plot the novel clearly shows the relationship between the protagonist and his wife. It follows complicated theories throughout the novel, however, Richard Matheson manages to describe them in the briefest way possible so that the reader’s understanding remains intact. It accurately reveals an ideal afterlife by Matheson’s deep research on the topic; and it contains a continuous flow of picturesque descriptions of the setting. What Dreams May Come fits Joseph Pulitzer’s criteria because it presents a clear perspective on a loving relationship, it briefly describes philosophical theories, it accurately depicts a reasonable afterlife, and it provides a memorable experience for the reader as it stimulates all five senses due to its picturesqueness. What Dreams May Come is very clear in terms of its rapid scene changes and Richard Matheson’s ability to explain the new scene with absence of confusion from the reader. The protagonist experiences surreal scene transitions– usually marked by the protagonist being Hocevar 2 surrounded in fog– and the present scenes are new to the reader but are explained clearly so they are comprehended: “The fog began to clear and I found myself able to advance. There was something familiar about the landscape in front of me: broad green lawns with rows of metal plaques flush with the surface, bouquets of flowers here and there, some dead, some dying, some fresh” (Matheson 40). Even when there is not such an obvious transition as the fog, Matheson still succeeds in describing the atmosphere: “‘Chris, can’t you see?’ he asked. ‘Your wife and children dressed in black? A church? A minister delivering your eulogy?’ ‘A convincing dream,’ I said” (Matheson 31). Parallel to the fact that the narrator usually is not aware of where he is, neither does the reader, however, Matheson still manages to put a clear picture of the setting in the readers mind: “I OPENED MY EYES AND LOOKED UP, OVERHEAD, I SAW GREEN FOliage [sic] and, through it, blue sky. . . . I reached down and touched the grass. It looked immaculately cared for. I pushed aside a clump of it and examined the soil. Its color was complementary to the shade of the grass” (Matheson 65). Despite what could be confusing scene changes, what is definitely clear in What Dreams May Come are the relationships present between characters. The novel’s main characters consist of a loving husband and wife; and due to the clarity presented by Matheson, there is no denying that they have a strong, undying love for each other. There are many factors in the novel which show this unyielding relationship. This is shown in the narrator– Chris– who cannot begin a thought without first thinking of his wife Ann: “First things first, I thought, I had to find Ann and tell her I was all right, end her suffering” (Matheson 22). Chris would do anything to help her, “‘Chris, even if you found her, which is probably impossible, she’d look at your face and not recognize you. . . . Your presence would be incomprehensible to her. Not only would she not accept your offers of help, she wouldn’t even Hocevar 3 listen to you.’ I asked again. ‘Will someone try to stop me?’” (Matheson 160) And he can not stop thinking about her. Whenever he sleeps he dreams about her: “I tried to see her but the water was dark and cloudy Ann! I thought. I thrashed around in desperate anguish, felling for her. I was there. That was the horror of it. I was really in that water, helpless and incapable, losing Ann again” (Matheson 120). Not only does Richard Matheson produce clear scene changes and character relationships, but is also clear in terms of the philosophy used in the novel. There are many complex philosophical views about heaven, however they are presented very clearly: ‘I noticed you have no mirrors,’ I said. ‘They serve no purpose,’ he told me. ‘Because they’re mostly for vanity?’ I questioned. ‘More than that,’ he answered. ‘Those who’ve marred their appearence in any way by their actions in life aren’t forced to witness that marring. If they were, they’d become self-conscious and be unable to concentrate on improving themselves.’ (Matheson 94) Matheson also talks about how people in heaven do not need to eat, but receive nourishment directly from their environment (Matheson 9

Let neighbor onto your yard for landscaping? We have a neighbor who does not take care of his yard. For example, he still has not raked leaves yet from last fall, they are still laying there, and we look at them every day. We did a landscaping project last summer, and he went crazy over us being over his property line six inches, so we called our landscaper and had it redone so we are not on his property at all. He even called the city to come out and measure where the property line was. Also, we had it landscaped that way onto his property because his soil was draining into our yard, so it fixed the problem of run- off, we just didn't put the rocks onto his yard just because. Well, he may be doing a large landscaping project this summer, and to accomplish it, he will need to have his landscaper go onto our property, and probably tear up a fair amount of grass. I do not trust him to take care of our yard, because he does not take care of his... This is also the same guy who was mowing his lawn and mooned us one day every time he was facing our house a couple of summers ago. We called the police, but all they did, I think, was talk to him... So....would you let his landscaper onto your property to do his landscaping? I just don't know what to do... Thanks for all replies. I am a single female, and live with my mom who is 70 years old, and he is a person who has anger issues and is male, probably about 30. If that makes any difference. We are very scared of him.

How to remove moss from my lawn? The side of my house has significant shade and is mostly moss at this point, so I'm looking to remove the moss and plant grass in its place. I have no experience with lawn care and have done a little research on what to do, I'm primarily looking for any extra tips or experiences people may have had. Here's my plan of action- Use a moss control product to kill existing moss. Rake out dead moss. Overseed bare areas with a mixture turf type ryegrass. Topdress seeds with about l/4 inch of loose weed-free soil. Keep moist until seedlings are established. Maintain higher soil pH with agricultural or dolomitic lime. Thanks for any advice, especially with any extra steps to maintain the shaded area.

Rodent control in veggie garden? Going to have the grass taken out in the backyard to put in a nice sized vegetable garden. Want it to be as organic and safe as possible as the vegetables are going to be used to make baby food for my grandbaby when she gets on food. I know there's a rat/mouse problem as they ate a lot of my tomatoes last year. I finally put some cubes of rat poison on the wall of the planter and that took care of the problem. But when I plant stuff where the grass was and it's flat on the ground, would it be safe to put the poison anywhere near the garden on the dirt? Would it help to place the cubes on top of some foil so nothing leaks into the soil? Is there a better way to get rid of these rats? Also, do lizards eat the plants? Lots of lizards in the yard and not sure if they are the culprits as well, but don't want to kill them--just the rats!

Neighbors squeezing me out! Help!? We live in a very nice neighborhood. I love working in my lawn. My neighbor to my left feels he doesn't have the time to cut his lawn and pays someone to cut his grass. Well, despite me pointing it out, they keep cutting about 4 feet into my lawn. And they cut it very short with their commercial equipment. Now, my neighbor to the right does not like how the property line ended up after we built our homes. Despite having it surveyed and stakes installed, she still keeps cutting two to three lawnmower lengths into my lawn. In the rear I have a very distinct landscaping that divides the property line. She still cuts on my side of it and mows around it as if they own it. Very odd. In the front, she cuts the lawn very low and actually burned my lawn up last summer. I have had a couple of polite conversations with her and her husband about this and asked them both to stop. They said that their lawn "looks better and bigger if they cut over that far". I said that is true, but it is MY lawn! I think she is now doing it on purpose because the last time I said something to her husband she yelled out the window of her car the next morning as she drove away stating that she was well within her property line. What do I do? I love working in my lawn and have the best looking lawn on the street. I spend a lot of time and money keeping my grass green, disease and bug free. I treat it my own lawn, test my soil a couple of times a year and keep it watered. The one set of neighbors are upset because they "pay" someone to take care of their lawn and mine looks better. They have actually said that to me! What do I do? I don't want to create problems since we all have to live here. But these people really don't care about their lawns nor do they care about crossing the property line. Am I crazy? Am I being petty? I look forward to your answers. We are in a neighborhood with a homeowners association. The property lines do not lend themselves to have a fence or divider installed such as pavers or landscape timbers.

Choose the better poem - an experiment.? Which of these short poems do you like better? Why? Poem A: Sometimes when you don't look at me It hurts my heart so painfully. When I don't know what you think It causes my soul to sink Into the depths of dark despair Because I think that you don't care. But then your lips will form a smile And it makes my life worthwhile Because we have a deep connection Immune from jealousy and rejection. Poem B: As children, we lived for the morning sun— basking lazily in the grass, belly-up across the warm earth. We took fistfuls of soil and let them crumble between our fingers, our nostrils flaring to catch the delicate mineral scent before it escaped into the wind. Smears of dandelion pollen stained our skin in playful streaks and the hills echoed with our shrieks as we chased and gave chase late into the afternoon, until dusk dulled the colors of the day. In the end, we forgot our games and wandered home again. Thanks to those of you who replied! The results were 4 for Poem A, 8 for Poem B, 1 for both and 1 for neither. Both of these poems were written by me. The first one was written in about five minutes and was intended to be cliched and awful. The second one had a considerable amount of though and effort put into it. The reason I did this is because I am amazed at the amazingly low quality of poetry that people on Yahoo! Answers tend to think is good. I really just wanted to know why. To those of you who did like Poem A, well, there's no accounting for taste, and I'm glad you enjoyed, but boy, I really thought that one was a stinker. To those of you who commented on Poem B, positively and negatively, thank you for your feedback. I will take some of your comments into consideration as I continue to revise it. That's right ,even you, girl who thought they both sucked! If you come upon this post later on, feel free to leave your own comments!

Pen-sized holes in lawn in Michigan? Other questions on this topic weren't very specific, so here goes. I live in Southeast Michigan, and a couple of days ago, on June 1st, I discovered pen-sized in diameter holes in my lawn, all over the place. My lawn was not aerated, I know what that looks like. I'm also certain I can rule out moles as this is too tiny to be mole holes (and there are no brown trails through the lawn, and no dirt piles near the sidewalks). The grass about an inch around each hole is yellowing slightly as well, at least where the grass isn't already yellowish. The color of my grass is already quite uneven throughout the lawn - splotches of nice thick green, then lighter green, then darker green, and some areas of yellowing, etc. I want to say that it rained the night before, so the thought of this being earthworms could be plausible I suppose, but I saw no worms on or near the driveway or sidewalks. I've also heard the speculation of this possibly being beetles, which burrow into the soil at night, lay eggs (which will become grubs), and then fly back out, however after doing research, I found that grubs don't typically affect lawns until late July at the earliest. I dug a good 4-5 inches deep around 3 of the holes and found nothing but dirt and clay - no worms, no eggs (that I could see), no grubs, no beetles, no insects of any kind. So now I'm at a loss. What could this be? Any lawn-care experts out there have an opinion? (Note: I have a dog too, in case there might be some sort of critters that are attracted to dog urine/feces in lawns)

do you think my story is good? This is my story (not done!). I am twelve, and I would really like your opinion on it. If you don't read the whole thing, please don't answer. __________________________________ The world around her was disappearing. She sat in the middle of it all, watching as her life fell. Screams, blood, and words of fury and anger ran through her mind. Then it stopped abruptly. She felt a spinning sensation, and soon it was over. She lied on the pavement and felt as if nothing had happened. Her dad wasn’t dead. Her mom hadn’t run away. Her sister wasn’t pregnant. She, herself, wasn’t depressed. She then realized she was in the middle of the street, alone. She could hear nothing. Suddenly she started laughing uncontrollably. And then she closed her eyes…and fell into the darkness. There were footsteps. Pounding footsteps the made the floor quiver and vibrate. Boom, boom, shake, shake, was all she heard. She kept her eyes shut tight, afraid of what she might see, might do. Her body was stiff; she was timorous to show any motion. The footsteps became louder and louder, and then they stopped. She opened her eyes. She was still in the street; she was still alone. The whole world seemed to be deserted, abandoned. Where had the footsteps come from? She screamed. Words that she had never even heard of flew out of her mouth and into the sky. The words were meaningless, made up. Yet, she kept screaming them to the world. To the now lifeless world, except for her. And maybe someone else, someone who had pounding, loud footsteps. The footsteps, the words, the laughter, it all taunted her. She heard a baby crying. She knew it was only in her head. She didn’t know what was happening. Everyone was gone. She slowly stood up, and walked. She didn’t know where she was going. She walked like a zombie. She walked to the cemetery. She saw countless graves, countless names, and she cried countless tears. She saw her father, her sister, and even her runaway mother. The lives and souls of all she knew were dead. She was left. Suddenly everything in her sight began to warp. The universe began to spin and she felt herself falling. She heard everything. The crying baby, the footsteps, the meaningless words, and the blood curling shrieks. She couldn’t take it. “STOP! STOP!” she felt herself scream. The yell vibrated through her body. She could not stop falling, so she shut her eyes and tried to disappear. Abruptly the falling was over, and her hands felt a cold, stone, floor. It was dark, and she could make the outline of a small, huddled, figure. Her ears were filled with maniacal laughter. The room suddenly exploded with light, almost blinding her. A small, disfigured old man grinned at her with yellow chipped teeth. “Welcome, my dear,” he said. “Welcome where?” “Why here, of course.” “Where is here?” she started to panic, “Am I dead?” The old man started to laugh maniacally again. He grinned in a way that made her frightened. “No. Not far from it.” A stick materialized out of nowhere. He grabbed it and pointed it at her. She scooted back, afraid. It was unknown what the stick would do. Suddenly, a door opened that she had not known was there. A young woman with dark red hair in a bun stood there. She wore a medieval type dress and a crown. It was obvious that she was royalty. “Leave her alone,” she said sternly to the old man. He snapped his fingers and the stick disappeared, but he could not seem to stop grinning that creepy grin of his. The young woman smiled at her. “Welcome, Sarah Hellon,” she said, “Welcome to Falassion.” Sarah stared. “What is Falassion?”she began angrily, “Where am I?” “Falassion,” the woman said patiently, “is the place where humans, wizards, and any other type of life form comes when their soul is almost completely diminished.” “My soul is not diminished,” Sarah retorted. “Yes, we know,” said the woman, “and that is why you are here. You are in danger, Sarah Hellon. Your soul is almost gone… We are here to save it.” The young woman led Sarah down a narrow walkway, quietly. “What happened to me up there?”she asked, “Where did everyone go? Does that happen to everyone before they come here?” “Well, sort of,” the woman said, not turning to look at Sarah, “Everyone goes through a moment of insanity before coming here. Sarah Hellon, you have been through so much that you went insane. Everyone was still there, the graves were part of your imagination. The sounds you heard were too, but the meaningless words were unexplainable. The footsteps were just the people you couldn’t see, the people you thought were dead. Something different happens to everyone. But everyone goes insane.” Sarah seemed to be nonchalant to the fact that she went “crazy”. She seemed to be unaffected by everything, that she was in an unknown world, that a weird old man almost killed her, and that her soul was almost gone. “Who are you?” she asked. “I?” asked the woman, “I am the queen of Falassion. Had you not figured that out yet?” “What is your name?” The queen smiled. “I have none,” she replied. Later, Sarah was put in a dungeon shared with a sleeping five year old girl. She had brown hair and wore a brown potato sack as a dress. She had no shoes. The girl suddenly opened her eyes. They were gray and it seemed like they had no end. It was almost as if you could stare right through them and see all of her insides. “Where are my parents?” the little girl asked. “I don’t know.” “WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?!” the girl screamed. Sarah said nothing. The girl began to scream louder, just screaming, no words. Sarah sat there, like nothing was happening. She figured her eyes looked the same as the little girls, except blue. She knew that her black hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere. She didn’t care. The door opened. The girl stopped screaming and looked up. Sarah did too. A teenage boy stepped into the room, accompanied by the queen. “Take care, Justin Harson,” she said, just as she had said to Sarah. The door slammed behind her. Justin sat down next to the little girl. All was quiet for a moment. Unexpectedly, someone stepped out of a dark corner. It was a girl who seemed to be in her teenage years. She was tall, with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She was overly skinny, and her clothes were extremely ripped up. Her eyes were wide as she spoke. “You have to get out of here!” she said urgently. Justin looked confused. “Why?” he asked. “They’ll kill you! They said they were going to save your diminishing soul. They’re liars. They’re crazy, they find enjoyment in killing. Broken souls are the easiest to kill. We have to escape.” “How do you know?” Sarah asked, mistrustful. “There used to be five other people here,” she said, “They were taken to ‘another dungeon’ for reasons unknown. One day, I was exploring the castle. I came across a room had never seen before. I opened the door. There, millions of people lied dead. There was blood all over the place. After months of being alone in this dungeon, I finally understood why. “I have more soul than most here. Not a lot. But more than most. I am still not ready for them to kill. But in a few months I will be. And so will you. Don’t you see? They don’t pay attention to us. They throw us in dark dungeons filled with other depressed people. Our soul is dwindling more, not less. We have to get out of here.” Sarah stared at her. “So, what are we supposed to do?” The girl stared at the floor. “I don’t know,” she admitted. Everyone was quiet. The whole world seemed to be falling apart to Sarah. But it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it. She thought for a minute. There was really nothing she could do. She never thought she would die in another world. It all makes it more interesting… “Who are you anyway?” Justin asked. “I am Seremela Celebrindal,” she said. Everyone quietly and reluctantly introduced themselves, except the little girl. No one talked after that. There was nothing else to be said. The night was to be uncomfortable. Sarah discovered there were no beds, and they had to sleep on the hard stone floor. Even so, she fell into a deep sleep… *“Sarah!” Larry Hellon called out, “Dinner’s ready! What’s taking so long?” Sarah paused her mp3 player just long enough to tell her dad she didn’t want to eat. She heard someone coming up the stairs. The door opened. “Sarah, mom says you have to come,” her eleven year old sister told her. “Fine, fine.” Sarah dragged her fourteen year old self down to the dining table. She looked at her dad: excited, as always, about his ‘delicious’ food. Her mom is: holding her hand to her forehead, eyes closed, stressed with her life. She’s maybe about to burst into tears again. Her sister has: brought her ipod to the table, a colossal amount of make up on, and looks rather like fifteen instead of eleven. It was a very typical every day dinner. “I have to go,” Linda Hellon, Sarah’s mom said suddenly. “Where?” “I got to go check the mail.” She practically ran out.* Sarah woke up in cold sweat. She looked at her surroundings. She saw the four gray walls of the dungeon, and three other people sleeping. She was breathing heavily. That day in her dream was real. It had happened a year ago. She remembered that it was hours later and her mom was still not back. She remembered that it was days later and her mom was still not back. Days turned into weeks, turned into months. Her mom never came back. Sarah tossed and turned all night. Soon morning came and everyone opened their eyes. Sarah planned to the opposite – all day. But suddenly the little girl stood up. She began to cry hysterically. “WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?!!” she cried. “We don’t know!” Seremela said, looking worn out. Her eyes were extremely red. The girl cried and cried repeating the same question over and over again. It made Sarah wonder: Where were these girl’s parents? “WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?!” The door opened again. “They’re dead,” someone spat. It was the old man. He was still grinning. “You’ll all die one day,” he whispered. Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw the queen rushing in. “How many times have I told you to leave them alone, you fool?” she yelled at the old man. The little girl was still crying, louder now. The queen seemed angry. “Shut up!” she yelled. The little girl, frightened, fell silent. Sarah noticed that the queen’s eyes were red. But soon enough they turned dark, dark, brown. “There is a new rule,” she said, “No one is allowed to come out of the dungeons.” “What?” Seremela asked, aghast, “But- but- why not?” The queen’s eyes once again turned red. “Do not question me!” Seremela stepped back, surprised. The queen’s eyes turned back to their normal color. “We have your best interests at heart,” she said, “We are just trying to help you. Well, we have to go the other dungeons now.” Seremela said nothing. The queen and the old man turned and left. It was obvious that the queen was a completely different person than when she brought Sarah to the dungeon. Seremela started sobbing softly. “We’ll never get out of here.” Many days later, the little girl had stopped asking for her parents. She stopped screaming and crying, she had stopped doing anything. She just sat there, like a lifeless doll. Seremela was constantly trying to come up with a plan to leave. Every plan she came up with proved to be impossible. She was always talking about schemes and how they would soon die, unaware that no one was listening. Justin sat there without a care in the world. He usually sat with the little girl, for reasons unknown. He said little, and when he did talk, he mumbled so low that no one could understand what he was saying. He was mostly ignored. Sarah talked to Seremela most of the time. She liked her. Seremela did most of the talking, about her plans and whatnot. Sarah said things like “Oh” and “Ok” and “Yeah”. Sarah didn’t really listen to what she said. She just needed sound to fill her ears, to relax her. Her music was the only thing that kept her sane on earth. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to work out too well. That day, Sarah became brave and started the conversation between her and Seremela. “Why are you here?” she asked. “What do you mean?” Seremela asked dully, “I’m here because I’m really, badly, depressed.” “No, I mean, what caused that?” “Oh,” Seremela looked at the floor, “Well my mom died first.” For the first time since anyone had known her, Seremela fell completely silent. It didn’t last long. “My brother committed suicide,” she continued, “and my father was never there in the first place. “All I had left was my 20 year old sister. She just watched television all day. She never talked to me. It was like I didn’t exist. So I ran away. She probably didn’t notice. Anyway… It was winter. I had no food. I had no idea where I was. I stayed in the middle of nowhere for a few days. One day, for some reason, I thought I saw the snow starting to melt. It was the middle of January. I heard birds chirping and people humming. The humming got louder and louder and then it turned to screaming. I looked around and saw that all the birds who were chirping were dead. And then suddenly everything started to-” “Warp,” finished Sarah, “And you ended up here.” Sarah showed no signs being sympathetic. Suddenly Justin spoke, loud and clear. “I was kidnapped,” he said, “And tortured. I watched many die.” That was all he said. No one urged him for more. The little girl spoke shyly. You could barely hear her. “My name is Jenny,” she said, “I am five years old. I don’t remember my last name. I lived on the street with my mommy and daddy in New York City.” She pointed to her brown potato sack dress. “This is my only clothes. One day, mommy and daddy got hit by a car. No one saw me when they were carried away to the hospital. I lived on my own. I don’t know what happened to my parents.” She began to cry again, but not loudly. “I’d rather live on the street than here,” she said. They were all thinking the same thing. The food they got was a cheese sandwich with stale bread every 12 hours. They never saw any light. There was nothing else about the place worth mentioning. A few weeks later, nothing had happened. The four people sat waiting for their food. The door opened and the old man, who Sarah had learned was the queen’s assistant, stepped in, handing them their sandwiches. Like always, the bread was stale and there was mold growing from the cheese. They ate it anyway. The grinning old man left. A few minutes later, Seremela noticed that the door was left unlocked by the old man for the first time since the new rule was put in. Her eyes grew wide and she smiled. It was the first smile Sarah had seen on anyone but the queen and old man since months ago, before she even came to Falassion. “What?” Justin asked. “The-the-door!” she said excitedly, “It’s unlocked!” She looked around at everyone. “Well!” she said, “Let’s go!” She ran up the stairs and to the door. Everyone followed her. Carefully, Seremela opened it. She looked around. “Let’s go,” she whispered. They bravely walked out onto the narrow hallway. They explored for ten minutes before they passed the old man giving out food in another dungeon. They ran as fast as they could the other way. They got back to their dungeon, but did not go inside. They all slid down the wall, panting, and out of breath. And suddenly they all started laughing. “That was close,” said Justin smiling. Jenny was giggling uncontrollably. The others smiled down at her. It seemed that for the first time in years, they were happy. And then, they heard footsteps. The four of them frantically tried to open the door to the dungeon, but to their surprise it was locked. They gave up, turned, and ran. The footsteps got louder. Sarah went through déjà vu for a moment. They didn’t know where they were going. They just ran as fast as they could; the narrow hallway twisted and turned, zigzagged, and formed a straight line all at once. Jenny fell. Justin picked her up quickly and continued running. They would not be caught. “Stop it! Stop running right now!” they heard the queen’s voice say. “Seremela, maybe we should stop,” Sarah panted. “No! We got to keep going!” Suddenly they came to a dead end. Seremela swore loudly. They turned and came face to face with red faced and red eyed queen. “Come…with…me,” she said. There were tears in Jenny’s eyes. Sarah looked at her in sympathy, surprising even herself. Maybe it was because she was only five? They followed her into a huge, beautiful, room. They sat down in four of the five chairs. The old man was sitting in the remaining one, laughing his maniacal laugh. “What was that?” asked the queen, eyes yet to return to brown, “You think you can break the rules? I don’t get what you don’t understand! And why are you sitting? Up, up, up!” Everyone stood up immediately. “You want some freedom?” she asked. No one answered. “I asked, do you want freedom?” “No,” everyone murmured. Suddenly her eyes turned again to their normal color. “Well then, back to the dungeons,” she said, “Oh and- no food for three days.” No one argued. Sarah sat in the dungeon, separated from everyone else. For the first time since her mother ran away, her father died, and her little sister got pregnant, she was angry. No one else was. The others had learned to give up hope on happiness, had learned that optimism was just a set up for disappointment. Sarah would normally be right with them. But right now, she just couldn’t understand what kind of mental problems this queen had. She couldn’t understand how, if she was trying to help them ‘get their souls back’, she could leave them without even a stale, moldy, cheese sandwich to eat for three days. Just for wanting to get out of a dark dungeon that they had been sitting in for many weeks, and have fun. Wasn’t that supposed to get your soul up? Having fun? This just proved that Seremela was not lying… Sarah was not really angry at the fact that she was not going to eat. She was angry at the fact that she was not going to be able to eat, at the fact that she wouldn’t be able to have the choice. Sarah closed her eyes and imagined the time when she was ten. It was really simple back then. She had a mother, and a father, and seven year old little sister. They would play hopscotch around the block, and raced in the park. But then everything fell apart… She looked at Jenny sitting in the corner, Seremela staring at the floor, and Justin, who had gone back to doing absolutely nothing. What was she doing these days? Sarah felt something enter her body that she had only felt a few times before. It was determination. Determination to save herself, to save Seremela, Justin, and Jenny. To not just sit around here like she’s been doing for the past weeks. Once again, she closed her eyes. But she didn’t imagine the past. She imagined the future. She imagined happiness. The three days went by without much anguish, and Jenny was especially fine. She was apparently used to going hungry, and it wasn’t really much of a difference than getting one sandwich every twelve hours anyway. Sarah’s angriness had worn off quite a bit, but she still felt strongly that their punishment was unfair. On the fourth day, the four sat quietly eating their food, actually liking the taste, when the old man came in once again. “Everyone to the great room,” he said, and left quickly. “The great room?”Sarah asked, confused. “I think he means the room we were in when we got caught,” Seremela explained. They went to that room, and it was filled with people: wizards, regular humans, elves, leprechauns, centaurs, and much more sat there. Sarah had never seen a room so depressing. They joined everyone else. The queen stepped onto a stage that Sarah had not even known was there. “Welcome,” she said, “You are here today for a very important reason. It has come to my attention that some of you” (she looked pointedly towards the four) “want some freedom. If it’s freedom you want, it’s freedom you’ll get.” No one dared to smile. No one dared to expect this to be a good thing. And they were right. “From now on, you’ll be waking up at nine in the morning,” she continued, “to do work in the back of the castle until nine at night. You will not leave the castle. There are very secured gates. If you are slacking off, you will be punished.” Sarah quickly counted the hours. “That’s twelve hours!” she whispered. “You can go back to the dungeons now,” the queen announced, waving her hand. The crowd went away, looking unsurprised. This made Sarah even angrier. She looked at Seremela, whose head was down. Who had brought them out there in the first place? “This is your fault!” she yelled at Seremela, once they were out of the Great Room. “What?” “Why’d you bring us out there, huh? Why couldn’t you just leave it alone? Now look what we have to do, because you wanted to leave the dungeon. There was no chance of us escaping anyway!” “Oh, no, don’t you go blaming this on me!” Seremela retorted, “I didn’t have to get down on my knees and beg you to come! You followed me, and all I had to say was ‘Let’s go’!” “You shouldn’t have gone in the first place!” Sarah had raised her voice even louder, “You’re the one who came up with the damn idea!” “Oh, so now I can’t think of anything!” Seremela said, rolling her eyes, “We all went, Sarah! We didn’t know this would happen! It’s all our faults! What the hell is wrong with you?” “Nothing!” Sarah had tears pouring down her face, “Nothing’s wrong with me!” She left the group, went into the dungeon, and went into the corner that Seremela came out of when they first met her. She heard them come in a few seconds later. For the first time, Sarah wanted to go home. *Ok, so her mom was gone. Sarah had to accept that and move on. It was time to go to school… The bell rang. It sounded like an alarm in Sarah’s ears that told her to get up and forget about everything. She breathed heavily and walked into American Literature. She didn’t know what they were talking about. She didn’t care about writers right now. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears. Why did it have to be this way? She thought her mom had loved her. She knew mom had loved her. Why did she go? “Ms. Hellon,” the teacher was saying her name, “Ms. Hellon, please pay attention.” Sarah looked at the floor. One girl, a girl Sarah knew as ‘popular’, looked at Sarah with disgust. “You’re weird,” she sneered, “What’s wrong with you? Sarah turned slowly, looking at the girl in disbelief. “You don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said. She grabbed her things and ran out.* Sarah sat crying in the corner. She knew the others heard her, but she didn’t care. Before she had come here, her mind had been blank. She had blocked out thoughts about everyone. Now she was reliving everything. She stopped crying. Sarah covered her face in her hands. She didn’t want to go through this right now. She felt a migraine coming on. She heard footsteps coming towards her. She hated footsteps by now. It was Justin. “Hi, Sarah,” he said. He sat down next to her. Sarah stared at him. “What?” Justin seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. “I..uh..I don’t know, Sarah,” he finished lamely. Before she knew it, Sarah was enveloped in a hug. It was an unfamiliar feeling. She was rarely hugged. She was hugged at her father’s funeral. She was hugged by her dad when her mother left. She hugged her sister when all of this happened. But she had never been hugged in a way that wasn’t stiffly, in a way that wasn’t fake. She hugged back, surprising herself. She started to cry again. The tears fell on his shoulder and made his white shirt wet. She let go. “I’m sorry,” Sarah said. And she walked away. Then she realized that she couldn’t run away. It sunk in that she was stuck here, with Jenny, and Seremela, and Justin. She couldn’t go back home. She hit the wall repeatedly. “No, no, no, NO!” she yelled, “I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!” “Stop it, Sarah!” Seremela yelled. Sarah was only vaguely aware that Seremela was talking to her. She was vaguely aware that Jenny was crying and pulling her arm. Sarah jerked her arm away. She saw Jenny fall. “SARAH!” Seremela pulled Sarah away from the wall. “Stop it, Sarah,” she repeated, “Stop it. You’re scaring Jenny. You’re scaring everyone.” “I’m sorry!” Sarah yelled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Ok? Ok…” Then she blacked out. Sarah stood up. She heard someone screaming their lungs out. Then, something else, like pots banging. Was she going crazy again? But the others were up too. “What’s going on?” Sarah yelled over the racket. “I think it’s an alarm!” yelled Justin. Seremela looked anywhere but Sarah. Jenny just looked confused. “Why is there an alarm?” “We have to go to work!” Sarah pointed to Jenny. “She doesn’t have to work, right?” She asked. “I don’t know!” Justin replied. The old man came in. “Let’s go,” he grumbled. He looked at Jenny. “You too,” he said. “Why does she have to go?” Seremela and Sarah protested at the same time. The old man looked at them with disdain. “Because she has to!” he barked. He was not grinning today. Jenny looked like she was about to cry. “Come with me, Jen,” Sarah offered. Jenny looked up at her with wide eyes. And then she moved towards Seremela. Seremela looked at Sarah. She didn’t smile and shrug like Sarah expected her too. She just took Jenny’s hand, and walked away. Justin walked towards her. “Hi, Sarah” he said again, like nothing was wrong with the world. Sarah wondered why the hell he was here. He seemed so happy these days. They followed the old man. “Why did Jenny do that?” Sarah asked, hurt. “She’s scared,” Justin said casually. “She’s scared of me?” “You pushed her to the floor yesterday, Sarah,” Justin said, “I would be scared of you too, if I was five.” Sarah looked at the floor. “I didn’t mean to,” she said quietly. “I know,” he said, “I know. And soon, Seremela will realize that, and even Jenny.” Sarah looked at him. Maybe you couldn’t get out of here, even if you were happy. Because Justin certainly didn’t look like he did a few days ago. He certainly didn’t look like he had a lost soul. At least there was one happy person around here… They reached a golden door. The old man unlocked it. Outside was the hugest lawn they had seen in their lives. It looked more like a small town. A quarter of the people they had seen in the Great Room stood there, digging gigantic holes. The old man handed them each a very small shovel. “Dig holes,” he said, “As big as that.” He pointed to a finished one. It looked like a crater had landed there. “With this?” Seremela asked in disbelief, waving her small shovel. The old man didn’t answer. He left, slamming the golden door. “Let’s all work together on one,” Justin said. Seremela looked at Justin and Sarah. Then she grabbed Jenny and went to another spot. “Ok,” Justin shrugged, “I guess I’ll work with you.” Sarah sighed. They started. “So…” Justin started, “How’s life?” “I don’t know. But you probably do. You’re with me 24 hours a day.” Justin smiled. “I figure it’s not working so well for you.” “No.” The dirt kept falling back into the sorry excuse of a hole that they had so far. Sarah looked up at the sky. It was lavender, green, red, and brown all at the same time. The grass was blue. The soil was the familiar brown though. “So, this is Falassion,” Justin said, “And I thought it was just dungeon walls.” “Yeah…” A girl with dark hair in a ponytail, elfish ears, and weird, small eyes came up to them. “Need help?” she whispered. She pulled out a stick, much like the old man’s. Pointing it at the small hole they had so far, she created a hole as big as the other one. “How’d you do that?” Sarah asked amazed. The girl looked at Sarah like she was stupid. “Magic,” she said simply, and she walked away. My story isn't done yet! Didn't I put that up there?

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Time Remaining: 1. What brought an increase in income and growth in the GNP for the United States during the twenties? (Points: 3) low unemployment industrialization and technology longer hours foreign credit 2. Which was not a limit on post-World War I prosperity? (Points: 3) gaps between the incomes of rich and poor assembly line jobs seasonal unemployment discrepancy in wages between men and women 3. Why did the automobile have a major impact on the United States in the twenties? (Points: 3) The government could tax gasoline and an increase in the use of cars increased federal and state revenue. Traffic began to create commuting problems that the government failed to address. Inexperienced drivers caused numerous accidents that made it difficult for hospitals to provide adequate care. By the end of the decade, automobile ownership had increased dramatically. 4. The radios, telephones, electricity, and indoor plumbing of the 1920s are evidence of what? (Points: 3) the influence of women on consumer decisions the strain on resources following the war the influence of technology on American life the challenges people faced in keeping up with their neighbors 5. What 1920s trend favored individual experiences, emotions, and the expression of personal freedom in contrast to an earlier emphasis on consensus and reason? (Points: 3) Impressionism Optimism Abstract expressionism Modernism 6. Dating, high school activities, and longer school enrollments in the 1920s were all signs of what phenomenon? (Points: 3) rebellion versus responsibility youth culture emphasis on education stricter parental roles 7. What was the name for the 1920s African American cultural movement that included literature, drama, music, art, and dance? (Points: 3) Lincoln-Douglas Revival Jazz Age Harlem Renaissance Coolidge Era 8. Which groups objected to immigration, responded to the Red Scare, and believed white Protestants were better than others? (Points: 3) African Americans and Catholics Communists and socialists Nativists and the Ku Klux Klan Labor unions and Jews 9. What brought a ban on the sale of alcohol and an increase in organized crime to the United States during the 1920s? (Points: 3) the Women's Christian Temperance Union the Prohibition Act the 18th Amendment Capone v. United States 10. What brought the conflict between the teaching of evolution and religious fundamentalism to a head? (Points: 3) the Scopes Trial the death of Warren Harding the defeat of Al Smith the high school reform movement 11. What group could be described for the first time in the 1920s with the terms flapper, wage-earner, and voter? (Points: 3) adolescents urban Americans African Americans women 12. Which policy was common to the Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover administrations? (Points: 3) an increase in the size of the federal government an emphasis on big business and the growth of corporate power stress on the role of the League of Nations in world affairs a military buildup in preparation for the possibility of another world war 13. Which U.S. president would disagree with the idea that the president should be a good friend to big business? (Points: 3) Calvin Coolidge Herbert Hoover Woodrow Wilson Warren Harding 14. The Great Depression was the result of wild stock speculation, economic disparity between rich and poor, and what else? (Points: 3) limits on farm production a banking crisis government's failure to act high tariffs overseas 15. Which was a cause of the stock market crash in 1929? (Points: 3) Too many investors tried to get in on buying the best stocks. Too few investors were willing to purchase a wide range of stocks. Investors bought stocks on credit because they thought prices would continue rising. Banks refused to lend investors the money they needed to keep buying stocks. 16. Which was a cause of the Dust Bowl in the Great Plains? (Points: 3) Farmers did not plant enough wheat to maintain the soil. Native grasses were removed to produce wheat, leaving nothing to hold the soil in place. Drought conditions brought high winds that blew in a counterclockwise direction. A lack of water allowed dust to build up over time and caused equi

China: From Death Camp to Civilization. Why very limited power to government is crucial? Mao unknown story? http://www.lewrockwell.com/rockwell/china2.html A hysteria of sorts has been generated by reports that some of China's products lack quality control. Some cat food has been tainted. A few cell-phone batteries have blown up. Cough syrup contained stuff that makes you sick. And so on. In response, the Chinese government actually executed its regulatory head of food and product safety, Zheng Xiaoyu. How very strange this last point is! In the West, we long ago gave up the idea that these people are actually supposed to carry out their jobs and should be personally responsible for their failure to do so. What is most striking about these product criticisms is how historically insular they appear in light of the modern history of China. This is a subject that is deeply painful, horrifying in its detail, highly instructive in helping us understand politics – and also puts into perspective these reports of recent troubles in China. It's a scandal, in fact, that few Westerners are even aware, or, if they are aware, they are not conscious, of the bloody reality that prevailed in China between the years 1949 and 1976, the years of rule by Mao Zedong How many died as a result of persecutions and the communist policies of Mao? Perhaps you care to guess? Many people over the years have attempted to guess. But they have always underestimated. As more data rolled in during the 1980s and 1990s, and specialists have devoted themselves to investigations and estimates, the figures have become ever more reliable. And yet they remain imprecise. What kind of error term are we talking about? It could be as low as 40 million. It could be as high as 100 million – or more. In the Great Leap Forward from 1959 to 1961 alone, figures range between 20 million to 75 million. In the period before, 20 million. In the period after, tens of millions more. As scholars in the area of mass death point out, most of us can't imagine 100 dead or 1000. Above that, we are just talking about statistics: they have no conceptual meaning for us. And there is only so much ghastly information that our brains can absorb, only so much blood we can imagine. And yet there is more to why China's communist experiment remains a hidden fact: it makes a decisive case against government power, one even more compelling than the cases of Russia or Germany in the 20th century. The horror was foreshadowed in a bloody civil war following the Second World War. After some nine million people died, the communists emerged victorious in 1949, with Mao as the ruler. The land of Lao-Tzu (rhyme, rhythm, peace), Taoism (compassion, moderation, humility), and Confucianism (piety, social harmony, individual development) was seized by the strangest import to China ever: Marxism from Germany via Russia. It was an ideology that denied all logic, experience, economic law, property rights, and limits on the power of the state on grounds that these notions were merely bourgeois prejudices, and what we needed to transform society was a cadre with all power to transform all things. It's bizarre to think about it, really: posters of Marx and Lenin in China, of all places, and rule by an ideology of robbery, dictatorship, and death. So spectacular has the transformation been in the last 25 years that one would hardly know that any of this ever happened, except that the Communist Party is still running the place while having tossed out the communist part. The experiment began in the most bloody way possible following the Second World War, when all Western eyes were focused on matters at home and, to the extent there was any foreign focus, it was on Russia. The "good guys" had won the war in China, or so we were led to believe in times when communism was the fashion. The communization of China took place in the usual three stages: purge, plan, and scapegoat. First there was the purge to bring about communism. There were guerillas to kill and land to nationalize. The churches had to be destroyed. The counterrevolutionaries had to be put down. The violence began in the country and spread later to the cities. All peasants were first divided into four classes that were considered politically acceptable: poor, semi-poor, average, and rich. Everyone else was considered a landowner and targeted for elimination. If no landowners could be found, the "rich" were often included in this group. The demonized class was ferreted out in a country-wide series of "bitterness meetings" in which people turned in their neighbors for owning property and being politically disloyal. Those who were so deemed were immediately executed along with those who sympathized with them. The rule was that there had to be at least one person killed per village. The number killed is estimated to be between one and five million. In addition, another four to six million landowners were slaughtered for the crime of being capital owners. If anyone was suspected of hiding wealth, he or she was tortured with hot irons to confess. The families of the killed were then tortured and the graves of their ancestors looted and pillaged. What happened to the land? It was divided into tiny plots and distributed among the remaining peasants. Then the campaign moved to the cities. The political motivations here were at the forefront, but there were also behavioral controls. Anyone who was suspected of involvement in prostitution, gambling, tax evasion, lying, fraud, opium dealing, or telling state secrets was executed as a "bandit." Official estimates put the number of dead at two million with another two million going to prison to die. Resident committees of political loyalists watched every move. A nighttime visit to another person was immediately reported and the parties involved jailed or killed. The cells in the prisons themselves grew ever smaller, with one person living in a space of about 14 inches. Some prisoners were worked to death, and anyone involved in a revolt was herded with collaborators and they were all burned. There was industry in the cities, but those who owned and managed them were subjected to ever tighter restrictions: forced transparency, constant scrutinies, crippling taxes, and pressure to offer up their businesses for collectivization. There were many suicides among the owners of small and medium-sized businesses, who saw the writing on the wall. Joining the party provided only temporary respite, since in 1955 began the campaign against hidden counterrevolutionaries in the party itself. A principle here was that one in 10 party members was a secret traitor. As the rivers of blood rose ever higher, Mao brought about the Hundred Flowers Campaign in two months of 1957, the legacy of which is the phrase we often hear: "let a hundred flowers bloom." People were encouraged to speak freely and give their point of view, an opportunity that was very tempting for intellectuals. The liberalization was short lived. In fact, it was a trick. All those who spoke out against what was happening to China were rounded up and imprisoned, perhaps between 400,000 and 700,000 people, including 10 percent of the well-educated classes. Others were branded as right-wingers and subjected to interrogation, reeducation, kicked out of their homes, and shunned. But this was nothing compared with phase two, which was one of history’s great central-planning catastrophes. Following the collectivization of land, Mao decided to go further to dictate to the peasants what they would grow, how they would grow it, and where they would ship it, or whether they would grow anything at all as versus plunge into industry. This would become the Great Leap Forward that would generate history's most deadly famine. Peasants were grouped into groups of thousands and forced to share all things. All groups were to be economically self-sufficient. Production goals were raised ever higher. People were moved by the hundreds of thousands from where production was high to where it was low, as a means of boosting production. They were moved too from agriculture to industry. There was a massive campaign to collect tools and transform them into industrial skill. As a means of showing hope for the future, collectives were encouraged to have huge banquets and eat everything, especially meat. This was a way of showing one's belief that the next year's harvest would be even more bountiful. Mao had this idea that he knew how to grow grain. He proclaimed that "seeds are happiest when growing together" and so seeds were sown at five to ten times their usual density. Plants died, the soil dried out, and the salt rose to the surface. To keep birds from eating grain, sparrows were wiped out, which vastly increased the number of parasites. Erosion and flooding became endemic. Tea plantations were turned to rice fields, on grounds that tea was decadent and capitalistic. Hydraulic equipment built to service the new collective farms didn't work and lacked any replacement parts. This led Mao to put new emphasis on localized industry, which was forced to appear in the same areas as agriculture, leading to ever more chaos. Workers were drafted from one sector to another, and mandatory cuts in some sectors was balanced by mandatory high quotas in another. In 1957, the disaster was everywhere. Workers were growing too weak even to harvest their meager crops, so they died watching the rice rot. Industry churned and churned but produced nothing of any use. The government responded by telling people that fat and proteins were unnecessary. But the famine couldn't be denied. The black-market price of rice rose 20 to 30 times. Because trade had been forbidden between collectives (self-sufficiency, you know), millions were left to starve. By 1960, the death rate soared from 15 percent to 68 percent, and the birth rate plummeted. Anyone caught hording grain was shot. Peasants found with the smallest amount were imprisoned. Fires were banned. Funerals were prohibited as wasteful. Villagers who tried to flee from the countryside to the city were shot at the gates. Deaths from hunger reached 50 percent in some villages. Survivors boiled grass and bark to make soup and wandered the roads looking for food. Sometimes they banded together and raided houses looking for ground maize. Women were unable to conceive because of malnutrition. People in work camps were used for food experiments that led to sickness and death. How bad did it get? 1968 an 18-year-old member of the Red Guard, Wei Jingsheng, took refuge with a family in a village of Anhui, and here he lived to write about what he saw: "We walked along beside the village…Before my eyes, among the weeds, rose up one of the scenes I had been told about, one of the banquets at which the families had swapped children in order to eat them. I could see the worried faces of the families as they chewed the flesh of other people's children. The children who were chasing butterflies in a nearby field seemed to be the reincarnation of the children devoured by their parents. I felt sorry for the children but not as sorry as I felt for their parents. What had made them swallow that human flesh, amidst the tears and grief of others – flesh that they would never have imagined tasting, even in their worst nightmares?" (The author of the passage was jailed as a traitor but his status protected him from death and he was finally released in 1997.) How many people died in the famine of 1959–61? The low range is 20 million. The high range is 43 million. Finally in 1961, the government gave in and permitted food imports, but it was too little and too late. Some peasants were again allowed to grow crops on their own land. A few private workshops were opened. Some markets were permitted. Finally, the famine began to abate and production grew. But then the third phase came: scapegoating. What had caused the calamity? The official reason was anything but communism, anything but Mao. And so the politically motivated round-up began again, and here we get to the very heart of the Cultural Revolution. Thousands of camps and detention centers were opened. People sent there died there. In prison, the slightest excuse was used to dispense with people – all to the good since the prisoners were a drain on the system, so far as those in charge were concerned. The largest penal system ever built was organized in a military fashion, with some camps holding as many as 50,000 people. There was some sense in which everyone was in prison. Arrests were sweeping and indiscriminate. Everyone had to carry around a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book. To question the reason for arrest was itself evidence of disloyalty, since the state was infallible. Once arrested, the safest path was instant and frequent confession. This time, guards were forbidden from using overt violence, so interrogations would go on for hundreds of hours, and often the prisoner would die during this process. Those named in the confession were then hunted down and rounded up. Once you got through this process, you were sent to a labor camp, where you were graded according to how many hours you could work with little food. They were fed no meat nor given any sugar or oil. Labor prisoners were further controlled by the rationing of the little food they had. The final phase of this incredible litany of criminality lasted from 1966 to 1976, and during this phase the number of killed fell dramatically to "only" one to three million. The government, now tired and in the first stages of demoralization, began to lose control, first within the labor camps and second in the countryside. And it was this weakening that led to the final and, in some ways the most vicious, of the communist periods in China's history. The first stages of rebellion occurred in the only way permissible: people began to criticize the government for being too soft and too uncommitted to the communist goal. Ironically, this began to appear precisely as moderation became more overt in Russia. Neo-revolutionaries in the Red Guard began to criticize the Chinese communists as "Khrushchev-like reformers." As one writer put it, the guard "rose up against its own government in order to defend it." During this period, the personality cult of Mao reached its height, with the Little Red Book achieving a mythic status. The Red Guards roamed the country in an attempt to purge the Four Old-Fashioned Things: ideas, culture, customs, and habits. The remaining temples were barricaded. Traditional opera was banned, with all costumes and sets in the Beijing Opera burned. Monks were expelled. The calendar was changed. All Christianity was banned. There were to be no pets such as cats and birds. Humiliation was the order of the day. Thus was the Red Terror: in the capital city, there were 1,700 deaths and 84,000 people were run out. In other cities such as Shanghai, the figures were worse. A massive party purge began, with hundreds of thousands arrested and many murdered. Artists, writers, teachers, scientists, technicians: all were targets. Pogroms were visited on community after community, with Mao approving at every step as a means of eliminating every possible political rival. But underneath, the government was splintering and cracking, even as it became ever more brutal and totalist in its outlook. Finally in 1976, Mao died. Within a few months, his closest advisers were all imprisoned. And the reform began slowly at first and then at breakneck speed. Civil liberties were restored (comparatively) and the rehabilitations began. Torturers were prosecuted. Economic controls were gradually relaxed. The economy, by virtue of human and private economic initiative, was transformed. Having read the above, you are now in a tiny elite of people who know anything about the greatest death camp in the history of the world that China became between 1949 and 1976, an experiment in total control unlike anything other in history. Many more people today know more about China's exploding cell-phone batteries than the hundred million dead and the untold amount of suffering that occurred under communism. When you hear about shoddy products coming from China or wheat poorly processed, imagine millions in famine, with parents swapping children to eat in order to stay alive. And what do China's critics today recommend? More control by the government. Don't tell me that we've learned anything from history. We don't even know enough about history to learn from it. Note on sources, all of which you should buy and read in detail: "China: A Long March into Night," by Jean-Louis Margolin in The Black Book of Communism, by Stephane Courtois et al. (Harvard, 1999), pp. 463–546; Death by Government, by R.J. Rummel (Transaction, 1996); Hungry Ghosts: Mao's Secret Famine, by Jaspar Becker (Owl Books, 1998); and Mao: The Unknown Story, by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday (2006). July 21, 2007 Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr. [send him mail] is president of the Ludwig von Mises Institute in Auburn, Alabama, editor of LewRockwell.com, and author of Speaking of Liberty.

Please critique my short story? White Walls I sit and I gaze upon the lone red fabric chair. With handles of sharp edges akin to blades and legs of asymmetrical lengths, the chair is empty. ”He must be late again”, I think and I wonder as the cold winds of November bash into the room windows. Berry is his name, and he is an eccentric type, perhaps even slightly mad. Always putting on faces, foolishly believing it earns him respect. Sometimes he breaks the stereotype, even tells a joke or two. That is when the world sees Berry's smile and the world gets hope, so they believe his lies. Too few are those moments though. And even if he gets on my nerves sometimes, I laugh at all his jokes; you die if you don’t. Other students will come soon. We all wear the same uniform, yet I don’t speak to them. Instead I look through the only window in the room, sometimes imagining how wonderful it would be if I was dead, and reborn as a roaming, free bird. Unchained, unbroken. That day the sun was slightly weird. Never this strong in the winter, so powerful it was that the old ladies carried umbrellas to shield their bolding foreheads. I was a little amused by the nature’s awkward display. It felt like someone placed an icy blanket over me, when, through this heated mess of wiggly air, in the corner of my eye I glimpsed a sight of Berry's shadowless figure. Realising it must be an optical illusion, a sight of slight confusion; a hint of my insanity, I focused my gaze and noticed him heading for a large red bus in the distance. The outlines of the bus’s numbers were a little hazy, they started with number six, of that I was sure. I was at the edge now, my eyes closed awaiting in trepidation. And while physically I was unable to move, my mind they could not take. And then... I saw it coming closer, my arms outstretched hugging mother Earth. The grass was soft, green and warm. I kissed the soil, thanking it for my safe landing. I could still catch up, I thought, so I ran and I puffed, and in the end I was short of breath, but I managed to catch Berry’s bus. I was tired and could barely move. There was but one seat there, a sweat stained bed. I settled down. My arm hurt at the elbow, the pain made me drowsy and I slept most of the way. We got to the end quickly, the ride was pain free, but the occasional electrical jolt. As we got off somewhere, the first curiosity that struck me was the seemingly rapid change of scenery. An out of the ordinary experience where water fountains and lush greens laid just neath seas of red rose gardens and fields of black sand. Such was the beauty of the place that I stood there for a while, forgetting why I came at all. “Hey, wake up”. A dog’s bark startled me as I attempted to straighten my jacket, a seemingly impossible maneuver. I thanked the dog, caressing its soft skin; I kissed it’s beautiful snout, the slime rolled down my lips. Then just like it came, the dog disappeared. I was all alone again. Then, a feeling of instant jubilation filled me and I was ready to cry in joy when I saw my chance to expose Berry's little secret. Berry was there, embraced in his mother’s hug. The woman looked very young though. She had blonde hair and perky red lips. I overhead him thanking her for the sandwiches she made. I snickered as I formulated my plan to reveal this to all the other teachers. Yes, I will blackmail Berry, I decided. The whole world will know he still lives with his mother. Something peculiar happened. They still hugged as Berry slid his hand down the woman’s back, squeezing her bottom. What were they doing?. My thoughts went back to my mother who I never got to meet. I was angry at Berry. His mother would surely cry if she knew that he threw away her lunch, like the devil he was. I would see him indulge in fast food and sweets where all the others of his kind gathered. The students would drooled and flap their arms, while they watched. I pitied them all. It was settled. Armed with my findings I decided to go see Berry next thing tomorrow. The thoughts of TV in my room made me jump like a little kid I am. I laughed in my happiness, bits of saliva drooling from my mouth hitting the soil below, causing virgin daisies to grow where the earth and liquid joined. I saw him leave the house. I went around the bushes so he would not see me. “See you Anne”, he mouthed to her, as waved goodbye to her. Anne was a pretty name. For a moment I wished she could care for me, but then I remembered people like her do not care of us. I had to get back. I flied back to school. All of the fools gathered there, uniformed, listening to my story. They all congratulated me when I told them. My plan was perfect, I was sure of it. Berry came for a visit to check up on us the next day. I told him all I knew, all the while laughing in his face. Other students joined me, and they laughed and giggled. We all pointed at his big fat face. Crumbs stuck to his big fat lips. Flies gathered on the big fat greased flesh and urinated all over it, their yellow excretions running down his chin soaking my bed sheet. But Berry was not embarrassed. He just looked at me, smiled and made me drink the red pills. The ones I hate the most. "That’s a good boy, George. Be careful now, if you keep this bed wetting business I will have to review your case. We don’t want that now do we. Remember George, I am your friend." Anne came into the room, though she looked different. Her hair was red now. Underneath her unbuttoned coat there was a yellow blouse, inviting looks from the sinful. She asked him if I was improving. I wasn’t sick, why would she say that. He looked at me, and shook his head. ”Let’s get out of here”, he smiled at her big blue eyes. Glancing all the while, winking at me, like the devil he is. I could not comprehend this. Holding hands they left together, shutting the door upon which I saw my name, attached to which there was my file, thick and yellow pages abound. They left me there alone, amidst the insane, a forgotten soul, strapped to the hospital bed. The night now comes too slow. * * * * A little rope made from their sheets And I become, a bird now seen Never was, but now I’m free From above, the dead I see

Please Be Honest - Am I A Good Writer?!?! (:? My Life As a Pioneer By: Kaley ♥ The ashes flew up into my face. “Ouch! One got in my eye!” I held my hand over my eye, fighting tears. I started to weep and headed back to the cabin. When I got there, I saw Alex, my brother. He’s 11 and I’m 9. It hurt so bad, I thought I was going to die. “What’s wrong?” Alex asked, soft and nice. “Well, I was cleaning the ashes, and one of them flew up into my eye.” “Oooh! That HAD to hurt. Let’s go get Papa.” “Ok,” I said. I held his hand and covered my left eye with my hand. I was still weeping. He was taller than me, so I sorta had to ‘reach’ up and grab his hand. He was about… 1 foot taller? I was bare-foot and the grass was still wet. Mostly because it rained a little in the morning. By the way, I’m Sara, Sara Wosmier. We were behind the cabin, almost back where the fields were. That’s where Papa spends most of his days. He kept on bending down and putting something in the soil. Seeds… Alex held me back, not allowing me to walk any farther. “What are you doi-“I spoke too soon. Suddenly, I figured out why he pulled me back. Here comes a pig. Trottin’ past us acting like he’s never seen us before in his life. I giggled. “It’s not funny,” Alex said cruely. He looked at me, beaming his eyes down like the Devil would. I looked away, trying not to laugh at the pig anymore. “Stay here. I’m goin’ to catch that pig. Go get Papa to do somethin’ ‘bout that eye of yours.” “Ok.” I skipped for a while then started walking a slow walk, towards the fields where Papa was. When I got there, Papa said “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He sounded worried. “I’m fine…” I lied. I could tell he felt bad for me. I think he knew he was lying by the expression on his face… “ALEX!!! When you’re done with that WILD pig chase, fetch some water from the stream for Sara’s eye!” He screamed across the fields and the lawn of our cabin. “Yes, Sir!” Papa chuckled. “Now THAT’S how you get a young lad like him to respond to ya.” He smiled at me. I smiled back. I looked back at Alex and the pig. I stared closely at the pig trying to name her from so far away. That’s… Anna Belle. “I’ll be right back.” I turned back to Papa. “Ok.” I flashed my ‘ear to ear’ smile at him. He started jogging that old man jog back to where Alex and Anna Belle were. I sat down and started playing with the grass. I twisted and turned them and I got a little tinsy winsy cut. It wasn’t noticeable and it didn’t hurt as bad as my eye. So, I just forgot about it, hoping Papa wouldn’t see it and freak out on me because I didn’t tell him… I got up and started doing kart-wheels. It was fun. Papa came back wiping his hands together, getting the dirt off. He saw me do a kart-wheel. He clapped at one while he was jogging towards me. I smiled after I was done doing one. “Your gonna have to teach me how to do that.” He chuckled and I laughed. “I don’t know about that…” “ALEX! Since I got that pig taken care of, go get that water now!” “Yes sir,” he moaned, softly so Papa wouldn’t hear him and yell at his moaning. “I heard that!!” Papa yelled. “Oops…” Alex said and started to run. “That’s what I thought…” Papa said. I giggled. Papa made a face that I cannot explain. My eye didn’t really hurt that bad anymore. “Papa, can you see it in my eye, anymore?” I rolled my eyes, showing him. “Nope, I don’t see anything,” he smiled. “Oh, well then we don’t need the water, anymore, do we?” “You tell me. Does it still hurt?” “Nope.” “Oh, ok. We’ll just let him get the water because it might start hurting, later. Plus, we need some water to wash your dress, tonight.” Alex came back in about, 10 minutes. I teared a strip of my shirt off and dipped it in the water. I dabbed my eye, easily and it healed right up in a couple minutes. “All better!” I smiled. The End! TADAA!! P.S. I didn't JUST write that, I wrote that when I was like 9 and a half. (Not very long ago--literally) I had it copy and pasted.=P Thanks, Kaley♥ PLEASE BE HONEST!!!!!!! Honesty is the Best Policy. (: Guys. ): I'm 10 years old. I think that is PRETTY good. ): Don't make fun of me, my teacher told me to write a story like this! It was for school!! ): You're just MEAN, orchard. ): my god.

How to get the best lawn possible? So last year my lawn was pretty pathetic, Major patches and all around not very green. This year I have made it my mission to have a green lawn but hoping its not going to be too expensive. I have very clay like soil so its not the best, but what are some things I can do to promote a healthy green lawn. What is the best fertilizer to put on? The best grass seed? Do they make a grass seed/fertilizer combo? I have started today watering my lawn, how often should I do that? Any advice is much appreciated. I'm a little dumb when it comes to lawn care.

What's it worth? Worth (A Quatern) My humble soul receives its worth as hands caress the fertile soil. A grateful earth rewards my heart with gift of seed to tend and sow. As saplings rise from 'neath the ground, my humble soul receives its worth. They seek nutrition from the sun and thirst for April's sodden dower. through tender care they thrive and grow and in return they nourish me. My humble soul recieves its worth with every breath of pure grown air. With every blossom's lovely bloom, with every grass and tree that's green, with every rose whose thorns do sting, my humble soul receives it's worth. I'm going to stake it today :) Should I change 'sting' to 'prick'?

Hi!Funny or no? 24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator... 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!" 11. Meow occasionally. 12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 17. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on. People Really Said These Things In Court Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q: Did he kill you? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, sir. Q: And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. The Blonde & The Coke Machine It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!" Poor Old Man This old man goes to the doctor's. "Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long." "So what's the problem?" "I can't remember where I live." Blonde in a Car A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car. Daughter's Prayer A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!" Your Family Is So Poor Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, “Hey, who turned off the heater!” Tooth Pulling A man and his wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." Grass Eater A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man. "I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, please come to my house!" "But sir, I have a wife and four children..." "Bring them along!" the rich man said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in." The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!" You''re So Ugly You''re so ugly, when yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering! Pinocchio and Splinters One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?" "Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it. "Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your "Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?" Clinton, Bush, and Washington... Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!'' George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!'' And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?'' Not Going To Try This Again A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. Mini Meanie The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar. Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is." Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?" Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it." That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father. Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is." Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?" Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit." The Deacon and the Preacher There once was this deacon and this preacher, and they had been friends for a long time. One day the deacon got sick and was put in the hospital, so the preacher decided to go and see his old friend. When he walked into the hospital room, the preacher noticed all the hoses and medical equipment attached to the deacon. The preacher walked over and kneeled by the bed and asked, ''How ya doing?'' The deacon motioned at a pad and pen on the nightstand. ''You want that?'' the preacher asked him, and the deacon nodded his head yes. So the preacher handed his friend the pad and pen and the deacon began to write. All of a sudden the deacon died. At his funeral, the preacher was asked to deliver the service. ''He was a good man and I'll never forget him,'' the preacher said, ''I was with him when he died and as a matter of fact I have his last thought in my coat pocket here.'' The preacher reaches into his pocket and pulls out the paper. ''Please, get up! You're kneeling on my oxygen hose!'' Too Smart A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid? Harry: "Coconut." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: "Bubble gum" Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off. The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole. Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole. The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one. Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!" Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ... So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket! This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ... But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ... A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?" "No dear it's because you are 25." A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the park and she grabbed this kid. Then she wrote a note saying, "If you ever want to see your child again, leave 10,000 dollars in a paper bag in the northwest corner of the park." then she signed it 'THE BLONDE' and told the kid to give it to his mom. The next day she went to the northwest corner of the park and got the paper bag. It had the money in it and a note from the mother that said, "How could you do this to another blonde?" Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." and the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. *when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home ~~~~ Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. A Blonde's Year in Review January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March: Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... Box said "2-4 years!" April: Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!! May: Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June: Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope. July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition... Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm... Car swamped because soft-top was o pen. September: The capital of California is "C"... isn't it? October: I hate M &M's... They are so hard to peel. November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... Instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December: Couldn't call 911... "duh" ... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone! Star if u like them!!!!

Moss! Moss! Moss! Recently applied moss killer to yard. Some is black/dying...now what? My husband and I purchased our first home last September and the previous owner must have been a fan of moss (or a lazy bum). We are currently working on the front yard and saving most of the back yard for next spring. Our problem is... the moss! The yard seems to be more moss than grass. It looks nice and green but its moss ridden! I purchased some Scotts Turf Builder W/Moss Control which kills the moss and fertilizes the grass to be hardier so moss doesnt grow back. But what I dont really understand is...What do I do after the moss has started dying? There are some areas where it hasnt, and I plan to try some liquid Moss Out that wont hurt the grass, but in many areas the moss is turning black as it is suppose to. I am trying to be patient but I am not sure what I am to do at this point. Once it turns black am I suppose to dig it out and seed? I have grass seed... Or is the moss suppose to decompose entirely and leave empty spots for me to seed? I applied the Turf Builder a good month or so ago and some of the smaller moss spots started turning blackish. We also have clay acidic soil which is why the moss is thriving so much. I can tell the yard wasnt cared for, probably for years. We live in Western Washington where we get a lot of rain. So even with just mowing and never watering, you can have a green yard. As far as our lumpy and mossy backyard goes, I think were going to get it de-sod and relayer the soil with better draining properties and add a few french drainage systems while its all torn up.

Caring for an exotic bush? Hi All and I hope you can help me. I enjoy my garden very much and am getting more and more confident everyday in caring for my plants and shrubs, I'm even quite good with my wife's clematis which was in a very overgrown state, I had to do some excessive pruning but I'm happy to report that it's now very responsive to the light and a pleasure to see. On to my question... my niece very kindly sent me a present from Thailand where she works as a cheese importer. It was a shrub that I have not seen in this country before. I am naturally quite worried about caring for it so advice would be most appreciated. My niece tells me the shrub is a 'Mangina' bush, I must admit it's probably not the nicest looking plant in the garden but I want it to be in fine condition when she visits me in the summer. The bush mainly consists of a very brown hairy looking clump of grasses to the front but if you look behind the plant there seems to be 2 very large hairy bulbs that protrude and sit on the surface of the soil ( they look a bit like coconuts) between them is a large pink coloured trunk which I think it uses to draw moisture from the earth as the end of it usually has a couple of drips of fluid coming from it. I would like to tidy the front of the plant but I'm worried I'll trim too much of the bush off and kill it. If anyone has any ideas it'd be greatly appreciated - apparently the bushes come in other colours as well as my brown one such as black, blonde and the more unpopular ginger colour ( Ranga Mangina ) They are also very popular in Hollywood so I'm told were they are trimmed excessively down to just the roots. In Brazil they trim them into a long thin shape which I personally fine quite attractive. Thank You

Can you tell me what you think to my story please? this is the prologue for a fanatsey story. its quite long, but even if you can only read some of it and tell me what you think i would be very grateful. I have put some of it on here before. thanks in advanced. plus if anyone can tell me a website address that i could put this on so it would be easy to look at it would be helpfull to. thanks The battlefield was littered with bodies, their blood staining the grass brown, if any grass could still live here. A once lush and beautiful landscape, but now it now reeked of death and violence, all trees and plants destroyed, for beauty had no place here now. No race had been spared the carnage, the corpses of Elves and Drekens, bitter enemies in life, lay together in peace, their fallen standards transformed into grave markers for the hundreds of thousands who would never return home. Women lay together, killed near the end, as they had tried to protect the children with nothing more than bread knifes and small bows, their faces unrecognisable as there own, while the children who had survived stood and stared at them, faces white with fear and horror from what they had seen. Dust swirled across the field, giving the whole a landscape a ghostly look, masking the violence for an instant, as if the very earth was trying to erase what had happened. The only sound left to be heard were the cries and moans of the wounded; some in death throws, their life blood seeping into the ground making the land seem corrupt. Carrion scavenges roamed the field, the black creatures rumoured to the agent of the Night Lord, attracted to the scent of death, gorging themselves on a free meal, with no distinction on whether their prey was alive or dead, but there was too few people left alive to stop them, too few to save the badly wounded from being eaten alive. Vultures circling the sky alerted others of their kind to the presence of a meal, while meat eating worms, over six meters long, surfaced, pulling up mountains of soil with them burying those bodies closest to them, and began feeding on anything and everything it their path, even their own wounded, drawn by the smell of blood. In an odd contrast to the ragged and blooded people surrounding him, the Night Lord stood clothed in deep black silk shirt and trousers, black knee length boots and a dark green richly embroidered woollen cloak, with no visible weapons, the violence did not seem to of touched him, he didn’t look like he belonged on the battlefield. But he did have a weapon, and the only creatures that had got close enough to use their metal stick were dead. From his vantage on a nearby hillside the Night Lord smiled, showing a row of sharp, white, teeth in a dark, almost black, inhuman face. He felt a fierce joy, for even in defeat he could relish the pain and suffering of others, pain that he had caused, to get revenge, to take away from them what he had had take away from him, and to try out his plans for his final attack on this world. For this was not the final battle, as the people living on this pathetic lump of rock were calling it, nor was it the first, this was just a skirmish, a test in strength, their strength, and he had found them wanting. They had defeated him true, but he had accomplish all that he had wanted to do this time, he had killed two of the Three’s Spirit partners, and destroying the one place that every living creature thought of as a place of peace and tranquillity, showing them that nothing was safe, nothing was sacred. Now when the battle for Nathunia commenced in earnest, they would be afraid of losing everything, they would try and save something, but he would be stronger and more powerful than they expected and so take everything. He had not even participated in the battle beyond using the Power to destroy those who had dared to try and attack him, and all those who had been on the hilltop them had been engulfed in flame, not caring who was for and who was against him. He had left the battle in the charge of his underlings, to see how they planned the attack, to see how the others countered it, and so that the inhabitants of this world would not find out his plan until the end. For this was just the storm before the end, that would happen so soon, so very soon. And then he would see who would defeat who. He would take away everything they loved and he would gain dominance over Nathunia, and all would beg for mercy before him. A crunch of bones beneath heavy boots called him out of his reserve, and he turned to see the Three walking up the hillside with only a single Spirit partner walking by their side, the partner of the young Elf girl, walking across the unrecognisable charred remains that surrounded him, with no ability to tell who was friend and who was foe, only knowing that both had been present when all hell had been let loose on the hill and it had been turned into a fiery inferno, with all on the hilltop had been slaughtered in the blaze. His face twisted into a s its sort of the battle against the Night Lord, but also you get to see into his history to see why he went bad.

How can I need to potty train my dog, please help!? I have a huge problem, some guy gave my husband a dog because he didn't want it anymore. My husband took her because my daughter loves animals (specially dogs) but my husband doesn't. Anyway he took her thinking of how happy my daughter would be. But the dog wasn't trained and started peeing and pooing everywhere in the house whick was a big problem since my carpet is a light color. My husband was upset and said that she can be an outdoor dog instead, so we took her out but I felt bad and would leave the garage door open so she can get in whenever she wanted to. But again she would pee everywhere, our yard is very big and we have grass bat the grass was turning yellow. Our landscaping guy said it was the dog urine, my husband wasn't happy and wanted to give the dog away. I didn't agree since I'm attached to her now. I'm the one who cares for her (feeding, baths, walks, um... picking up poo and cleaning lots of urine stains) so yeah, I'm pretty busy with two kids and a dog. My mom has two dogs and they always poo in the soil in the backyard but my dog poops just about everywhere not just in one area so our yard was filthy specially in the winter when it was raining and I couln't clean up everyday. Now I keep my dog in the garage I buy training pads but she doesn't always use them. I'm thinking about trying a litter box, I don't know what to do since I want to keep her. Any suggestions can help I'll try all. Thanks in advance everyone.

Is this poem any good? To wake one day and write, wide and free like midday river Who is past the mountain peaks, In the reds of heart, where sun is gentle Sun is meek Where crossroads do not be, but a way to stillness To the knowledge of the future Easing down through rocky lands of the murky past Forgiven and forgetten, without the haunting shadows of mortal greed and doubt Restless river once, a march of thousand drums Though no one cared to see, no one cared to listed But now as drops of youthful dawn settle down the dew and glisten The green of grass the river leaves, and all are now free I wish to the river, who Just before she joins Her mother in the soil Found the name of Joy I wrote it... why would you say it's a copy A few errors sorry. One is I wish to be the river who Near the end..

Snake Care Tips !!!!!!!!? Ok, I have a Strped bronzeback about 11 inches i put it in a shoebox with holes, you think thats ok?I don't have an extra tank and my parents wont allow me to buy one. Now, I put a little lizard which they eat, but I left the lizard there and it never ate it. I need help, 1 HOW OFTEN SHOULD I LET IT DRINK ? ] 2 WAT SHOULD IT PUT TO MAKE HIM FEEL MORE AT HOME ?? ( I put a stick a rock where it hides and a little grass, should I put soil or anything else) 3 WAT CAN I FEED IT ? (must not be bought) 4 SHOULD I STOP CHECKING ON IT TOO MUCH ? 5 WAT ELSE CAN I USE TO PUT HIM IN AND MAKE LIGHT BE ABLE TO COME IN? 6. ITS VERY SHY AND NERVOUS HOW CAN I MAKE IT MORE COMFIDENT? PLEASE GIVE MORE TIPS ON STRIPED BRONZEBACKS AND I JUST WANT AN ANSWER COMMENT IF YOUVE ANSWERED PROPERLY.

Poll: Did you like The Oddysey or The Iliad better? I liked the Iliad better. This was my favorite part: Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another. And which of the gods was it that set them on to quarrel? It was the son of Jove and Leto; for he was angry with the king and sent a pestilence upon the host to plague the people, because the son of Atreus had dishonoured Chryses his priest. Now Chryses had come to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and had brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo wreathed with a suppliant's wreath and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus, who were their chiefs. "Sons of Atreus," he cried, "and all other Achaeans, may the gods who dwell in Olympus grant you to sack the city of Priam, and to reach your homes in safety; but free my daughter, and accept a ransom for her, in reverence to Apollo, son of Jove." On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. "Old man," said he, "let me not find you tarrying about our ships, nor yet coming hereafter. Your sceptre of the god and your wreath shall profit you nothing. I will not free her. She shall grow old in my house at Argos far from her own home, busying herself with her loom and visiting my couch; so go, and do not provoke me or it shall be the worse for you." The old man feared him and obeyed. Not a word he spoke, but went by the shore of the sounding sea and prayed apart to King Apollo whom lovely Leto had borne. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla and rulest Tenedos with thy might, hear me oh thou of Sminthe. If I have ever decked your temple with garlands, or burned your thigh-bones in fat of bulls or goats, grant my prayer, and let your arrows avenge these my tears upon the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Olympus, with his bow and his quiver upon his shoulder, and the arrows rattled on his back with the rage that trembled within him. He sat himself down away from the ships with a face as dark as night, and his silver bow rang death as he shot his arrow in the midst of them. First he smote their mules and their hounds, but presently he aimed his shafts at the people themselves, and all day long the pyres of the dead were burning. For nine whole days he shot his arrows among the people, but upon the tenth day Achilles called them in assembly- moved thereto by Juno, who saw the Achaeans in their death-throes and had compassion upon them. Then, when they were got together, he rose and spoke among them. "Son of Atreus," said he, "I deem that we should now turn roving home if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by war and pestilence at once. Let us ask some priest or prophet, or some reader of dreams (for dreams, too, are of Jove) who can tell us why Phoebus Apollo is so angry, and say whether it is for some vow that we have broken, or hecatomb that we have not offered, and whether he will accept the savour of lambs and goats without blemish, so as to take away the plague from us." With these words he sat down, and Calchas son of Thestor, wisest of augurs, who knew things past present and to come, rose to speak. He it was who had guided the Achaeans with their fleet to Ilius, through the prophesyings with which Phoebus Apollo had inspired him. With all sincerity and goodwill he addressed them thus:- "Achilles, loved of heaven, you bid me tell you about the anger of King Apollo, I will therefore do so; but consider first and swear that you will stand by me heartily in word and deed, for I know that I shall offend one who rules the Argives with might, to whom all the Achaeans are in subjection. A plain man cannot stand against the anger of a king, who if he swallow his displeasure now, will yet nurse revenge till he has wreaked it. Consider, therefore, whether or no you will protect me." And Achilles answered, "Fear not, but speak as it is borne in upon you from heaven, for by Apollo, Calchas, to whom you pray, and whose oracles you reveal to us, not a Danaan at our ships shall lay his hand upon you, while I yet live to look upon the face of the earth- no, not though you name Agamemnon himself, who is by far the foremost of the Achaeans." Thereon the seer spoke boldly. "The god," he said, "is angry neither about vow nor hecatomb, but for his priest's sake, whom Agamemnon has dishonoured, in that he would not free his daughter nor take a ransom for her; therefore has he sent these evils upon us, and will yet send others. He will not deliver the Danaans from this pestilence till Agamemnon has restored the girl without fee or ransom to her father, and has sent a holy hecatomb to Chryse. Thus we may perhaps appease him." With these words he sat down, and Agamemnon rose in anger. His heart was black with rage, and his eyes flashed fire as he scowled on Calchas and said, "Seer of evil, you never yet prophesied smooth things concerning me, but have ever loved to foretell that which was evil. You have brought me neither comfort nor performance; and now you come seeing among Danaans, and saying that Apollo has plagued us because I would not take a ransom for this girl, the daughter of Chryses. I have set my heart on keeping her in my own house, for I love her better even than my own wife Clytemnestra, whose peer she is alike in form and feature, in understanding and accomplishments. Still I will give her up if I must, for I would have the people live, not die; but you must find me a prize instead, or I alone among the Argives shall be without one. This is not well; for you behold, all of you, that my prize is to go elsewhither." And Achilles answered, "Most noble son of Atreus, covetous beyond all mankind, how shall the Achaeans find you another prize? We have no common store from which to take one. Those we took from the cities have been awarded; we cannot disallow the awards that have been made already. Give this girl, therefore, to the god, and if ever Jove grants us to sack the city of Troy we will requite you three and fourfold." Then Agamemnon said, "Achilles, valiant though you be, you shall not thus outwit me. You shall not overreach and you shall not persuade me. Are you to keep your own prize, while I sit tamely under my loss and give up the girl at your bidding? Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming. But of this we will take thought hereafter; for the present, let us draw a ship into the sea, and find a crew for her expressly; let us put a hecatomb on board, and let us send Chryseis also; further, let some chief man among us be in command, either Ajax, or Idomeneus, or yourself, son of Peleus, mighty warrior that you are, that we may offer sacrifice and appease the the anger of the god." Achilles scowled at him and answered, "You are steeped in insolence and lust of gain. With what heart can any of the Achaeans do your bidding, either on foray or in open fighting? I came not warring here for any ill the Trojans had done me. I have no quarrel with them. They have not raided my cattle nor my horses, nor cut down my harvests on the rich plains of Phthia; for between me and them there is a great space, both mountain and sounding sea. We have followed you, Sir Insolence! for your pleasure, not ours- to gain satisfaction from the Trojans for your shameless self and for Menelaus. You forget this, and threaten to rob me of the prize for which I have toiled, and which the sons of the Achaeans have given me. Never when the Achaeans sack any rich city of the Trojans do I receive so good a prize as you do, though it is my hands that do the better part of the fighting. When the sharing comes, your share is far the largest, and I, forsooth, must go back to my ships, take what I can get and be thankful, when my labour of fighting is done. Now, therefore, I shall go back to Phthia; it will be much better for me to return home with my ships, for I will not stay here dishonoured to gather gold and substance for you." And Agamemnon answered, "Fly if you will, I shall make you no prayers to stay you. I have others here who will do me honour, and above all Jove, the lord of counsel. There is no king here so hateful to me as you are, for you are ever quarrelsome and ill affected. What though you be brave? Was it not heaven that made you so? Go home, then, with your ships and comrades to lord it over the Myrmidons. I care neither for you nor for your anger; and thus will I do: since Phoebus Apollo is taking Chryseis from me, I shall send her with my ship and my followers, but I shall come to your tent and take your own prize Briseis, that you may learn how much stronger I am than you are, and that another may fear to set himself up as equal or comparable with me." The son of Peleus was furious, and his heart within his shaggy breast was divided whether to draw his sword, push the others aside, and kill the son of Atreus, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was drawing his mighty sword from its scabbard, Minerva came down from heaven (for Juno had sent her in the love she bore to them both), and seized the son of Peleus by his yellow hair, visible to him alone, for of the others no man could see her. Achilles turned in amaze, and by the fire that flashed from her eyes at once knew that she was Minerva. "Why are you here," said he, "daughter of aegis-bearing Jove? To see the pride of Agamemnon, son of Atreus? Let me tell you- and it shall surely be- he shall pay for this insolence with his life." And Minerva said, "I come from heaven, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your anger. Juno has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not draw your sword; rail at him if you will, and your railing will not be vain, for I tell you- and it shall surely be- that you shall hereafter receive gifts three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey." "Goddess," answered Achilles, "however angry a man may be, he must do as you two command him. This will be best, for the gods ever hear the prayers of him who has obeyed them." He stayed his hand on the silver hilt of his sword, and thrust it back into the scabbard as Minerva bade him. Then she went back to Olympus among the other gods, and to the house of aegis-bearing Jove. But the son of Peleus again began railing at the son of Atreus, for he was still in a rage. "Wine-bibber," he cried, "with the face of a dog and the heart of a hind, you never dare to go out with the host in fight, nor yet with our chosen men in ambuscade. You shun this as you do death itself. You had rather go round and rob his prizes from any man who contradicts you. You devour your people, for you are king over a feeble folk; otherwise, son of Atreus, henceforward you would insult no man. Therefore I say, and swear it with a great oath- nay, by this my sceptre which shalt sprout neither leaf nor shoot, nor bud anew from the day on which it left its parent stem upon the mountains- for the axe stripped it of leaf and bark, and now the sons of the Achaeans bear it as judges and guardians of the decrees of heaven- so surely and solemnly do I swear that hereafter they shall look fondly for Achilles and shall not find him. In the day of your distress, when your men fall dying by the murderous hand of Hector, you shall not know how to help them, and shall rend your heart with rage for the hour when you offered insult to the bravest of the Achaeans." With this the son of Peleus dashed his gold-bestudded sceptre on the ground and took his seat, while the son of Atreus was beginning fiercely from his place upon the other side. Then uprose smooth-tongued Nestor, the facile speaker of the Pylians, and the words fell from his lips sweeter than honey. Two generations of men born and bred in Pylos had passed away under his rule, and he was now reigning over the third. With all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he addressed them thus:- "Of a truth," he said, "a great sorrow has befallen the Achaean land. Surely Priam with his sons would rejoice, and the Trojans be glad at heart if they could hear this quarrel between you two, who are so excellent in fight and counsel. I am older than either of you; therefore be guided by me. Moreover I have been the familiar friend of men even greater than you are, and they did not disregard my counsels. Never again can I behold such men as Pirithous and Dryas shepherd of his people, or as Caeneus, Exadius, godlike Polyphemus, and Theseus son of Aegeus, peer of the immortals. These were the mightiest men ever born upon this earth: mightiest were they, and when they fought the fiercest tribes of mountain savages they utterly overthrew them. I came from distant Pylos, and went about among them, for they would have me come, and I fought as it was in me to do. Not a man now living could withstand them, but they heard my words, and were persuaded by them. So be it also with yourselves, for this is the more excellent way. Therefore, Agamemnon, though you be strong, take not this girl away, for the sons of the Achaeans have already given her to Achilles; and you, Achilles, strive not further with the king, for no man who by the grace of Jove wields a sceptre has like honour with Agamemnon. You are strong, and have a goddess for your mother; but Agamemnon is stronger than you, for he has more people under him. Son of Atreus, check your anger, I implore you; end this quarrel with Achilles, who in the day of battle is a tower of strength to the Achaeans." And Agamemnon answered, "Sir, all that you have said is true, but this fellow must needs become our lord and master: he must be lord of all, king of all, and captain of all, and this shall hardly be. Granted that the gods have made him a great warrior, have they also given him the right to speak with railing?" Achilles interrupted him. "I should be a mean coward," he cried, "were I to give in to you in all things. Order other people about, not me, for I shall obey no longer. Furthermore I say- and lay my saying to your heart- I shall fight neither you nor any man about this girl, for those that take were those also that gave. But of all else that is at my ship you shall carry away nothing by force. Try, that others may see; if you do, my spear shall be reddened with your blood." When they had quarrelled thus angrily, they rose, and broke up the assembly at the ships of the Achaeans. The son of Peleus went back to his tents and ships with the son of Menoetius and his company, while Agamemnon drew a vessel into the water and chose a crew of twenty oarsmen. He escorted Chryseis on board and sent moreover a hecatomb for the god. And Ulysses went as captain. These, then, went on board and sailed their ways over the sea. But the son of Atreus bade the people purify themselves; so they purified themselves and cast their filth into the sea. Then they offered hecatombs of bulls and goats without blemish on the sea-shore, and the smoke with the savour of their sacrifice rose curling up towards heaven. Thus did they busy themselves throughout the host. But Agamemnon did not forget the threat that he had made Achilles, and called his trusty messengers and squires Talthybius and Eurybates. "Go," said he, "to the tent of Achilles, son of Peleus; take Briseis by the hand and bring her hither; if he will not give her I shall come with others and take her- which will press him harder." He charged them straightly further and dismissed them, whereon they went their way sorrowfully by the seaside, till they came to the tents and ships of the Myrmidons. They found Achilles sitting by his tent and his ships, and ill-pleased he was when he beheld them. They stood fearfully and reverently before him, and never a word did they speak, but he knew them and said, "Welcome, heralds, messengers of gods and men; draw near; my quarrel is not with you but with Agamemnon who has sent you for the girl Briseis. Therefore, Patroclus, bring her and give her to them, but let them be witnesses by the blessed gods, by mortal men, and by the fierceness of Agamemnon's anger, that if ever again there be need of me to save the people from ruin, they shall seek and they shall not find. Agamemnon is mad with rage and knows not how to look before and after that the Achaeans may fight by their ships in safety." Patroclus did as his dear comrade had bidden him. He brought Briseis from the tent and gave her over to the heralds, who took her with them to the ships of the Achaeans- and the woman was loth to go. Then Achilles went all alone by the side of the hoar sea, weeping and looking out upon the boundless waste of waters. He raised his hands in prayer to his immortal mother, "Mother," he cried, "you bore me doomed to live but for a little season; surely Jove, who thunders from Olympus, might have made that little glorious. It is not so. Agamemnon, son of Atreus, has done me dishonour, and has robbed me of my prize by force." As he spoke he wept aloud, and his mother heard him where she was sitting in the depths of the sea hard by the old man her father. Forthwith she rose as it were a grey mist out of the waves, sat down before him as he stood weeping, caressed him with her hand, and said, "My son, why are you weeping? What is it that grieves you? Keep it not from me, but tell me, that we may know it together." Achilles drew a deep sigh and said, "You know it; why tell you what you know well already? We went to Thebe the strong city of Eetion, sacked it, and brought hither the spoil. The sons of the Achaeans shared it duly among themselves, and chose lovely Chryseis as the meed of Agamemnon; but Chryses, priest of Apollo, came to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo, wreathed with a suppliant's wreath, and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus who were their chiefs. "On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. So he went back in anger, and Apollo, who loved him dearly, heard his prayer. Then the god sent a deadly dart upon the Argives, and the people died thick on one another, for the arrows went everywhither among the wide host of the Achaeans. At last a seer in the fulness of his knowledge declared to us the oracles of Apollo, and I was myself first to say that we should appease him. Whereon the son of Atreus rose in anger, and threatened that which he has since done. The Achaeans are now taking the girl in a ship to Chryse, and sending gifts of sacrifice to the god; but the heralds have just taken from my tent the daughter of Briseus, whom the Achaeans had awarded to myself. "Help your brave son, therefore, if you are able. Go to Olympus, and if you have ever done him service in word or deed, implore the aid of Jove. Ofttimes in my father's house have I heard you glory in that you alone of the immortals saved the son of Saturn from ruin, when the others, with Juno, Neptune, and Pallas Minerva would have put him in bonds. It was you, goddess, who delivered him by calling to Olympus the hundred-handed monster whom gods call Briareus, but men Aegaeon, for he is stronger even than his father; when therefore he took his seat all-glorious beside the son of Saturn, the other gods were afraid, and did not bind him. Go, then, to him, remind him of all this, clasp his knees, and bid him give succour to the Trojans. Let the Achaeans be hemmed in at the sterns of their ships, and perish on the sea-shore, that they may reap what joy they may of their king, and that Agamemnon may rue his blindness in offering insult to the foremost of the Achaeans." Thetis wept and answered, "My son, woe is me that I should have borne or suckled you. Would indeed that you had lived your span free from all sorrow at your ships, for it is all too brief; alas, that you should be at once short of life and long of sorrow above your peers: woe, therefore, was the hour in which I bore you; nevertheless I will go to the snowy heights of Olympus, and tell this tale to Jove, if he will hear our prayer: meanwhile stay where you are with your ships, nurse your anger against the Achaeans, and hold aloof from fight. For Jove went yesterday to Oceanus, to a feast among the Ethiopians, and the other gods went with him. He will return to Olympus twelve days hence; I will then go to his mansion paved with bronze and will beseech him; nor do I doubt that I shall be able to persuade him." On this she left him, still furious at the loss of her that had been taken from him. Meanwhile Ulysses reached Chryse with the hecatomb. When they had come inside the harbour they furled the sails and laid them in the ship's hold; they slackened the forestays, lowered the mast into its place, and rowed the ship to the place where they would have her lie; there they cast out their mooring-stones and made fast the hawsers. They then got out upon the sea-shore and landed the hecatomb for Apollo; Chryseis also left the ship, and Ulysses led her to the altar to deliver her into the hands of her father. "Chryses," said he, "King Agamemnon has sent me to bring you back your child, and to offer sacrifice to Apollo on behalf of the Danaans, that we may propitiate the god, who has now brought sorrow upon the Argives." So saying he gave the girl over to her father, who received her gladly, and they ranged the holy hecatomb all orderly round the altar of the god. They washed their hands and took up the barley-meal to sprinkle over the victims, while Chryses lifted up his hands and prayed aloud on their behalf. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla, and rulest Tenedos with thy might. Even as thou didst hear me aforetime when I prayed, and didst press hardly upon the Achaeans, so hear me yet again, and stay this fearful pestilence from the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal, they drew back the heads of the victims and killed and flayed them. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, set some pieces of raw meat on the top of them, and then Chryses laid them on the wood fire and poured wine over them, while the young men stood near him with five-pronged spits in their hands. When the thigh-bones were burned and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon the spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off: then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, pages filled the mixing-bowl with wine and water and handed it round, after giving every man his drink-offering. Thus all day long the young men worshipped the god with song, hymning him and chaunting the joyous paean, and the god took pleasure in their voices; but when the sun went down, and it came on dark, they laid themselves down to sleep by the stern cables of the ship, and when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared they again set sail for the host of the Achaeans. Apollo sent them a fair wind, so they raised their mast and hoisted their white sails aloft. As the sail bellied with the wind the ship flew through the deep blue water, and the foam hissed against her bows as she sped onward. When they reached the wide-stretching host of the Achaeans, they drew the vessel ashore, high and dry upon the sands, set her strong props beneath her, and went their ways to their own tents and ships. But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry. Now after twelve days the immortal gods came back in a body to Olympus, and Jove led the way. Thetis was not unmindful of the charge her son had laid upon her, so she rose from under the sea and went through great heaven with early morning to Olympus, where she found the mighty son of Saturn sitting all alone upon its topmost ridges. She sat herself down before him, and with her left hand seized his knees, while with her right she caught him under the chin, and besought him, saying- "Father Jove, if I ever did you service in word or deed among the immortals, hear my prayer, and do honour to my son, whose life is to be cut short so early. King Agamemnon has dishonoured him by taking his prize and keeping her. Honour him then yourself, Olympian lord of counsel, and grant victory to the Trojans, till the Achaeans give my son his due and load him with riches in requital." Jove sat for a while silent, and without a word, but Thetis still kept firm hold of his knees, and besought him a second time. "Incline your head," said she, "and promise me surely, or else deny me- for you have nothing to fear- that I may learn how greatly you disdain me." At this Jove was much troubled and answered, "I shall have trouble if you set me quarrelling with Juno, for she will provoke me with her taunting speeches; even now she is always railing at me before the other gods and accusing me of giving aid to the Trojans. Go back now, lest she should find out. I will consider the matter, and will bring it about as wish. See, I incline my head that you believe me. This is the most solemn that I can give to any god. I never recall my word, or deceive, or fail to do what I say, when I have nodded my head." As he spoke the son of Saturn bowed his dark brows, and the ambrosial locks swayed on his immortal head, till vast Olympus reeled. When the pair had thus laid their plans, they parted- Jove to his house, while the goddess quitted the splendour of Olympus, and plunged into the depths of the sea. The gods rose from their seats, before the coming of their sire. Not one of them dared to remain sitting, but all stood up as he came among them. There, then, he took his seat. But Juno, when she saw him, knew that he and the old merman's daughter, silver-footed Thetis, had been hatching mischief, so she at once began to upbraid him. "Trickster," she cried, "which of the gods have you been taking into your counsels now? You are always settling matters in secret behind my back, and have never yet told me, if you could help it, one word of your intentions." "Juno," replied the sire of gods and men, "you must not expect to be informed of all my counsels. You are my wife, but you would find it hard to understand them. When it is proper for you to hear, there is no one, god or man, who will be told sooner, but when I mean to keep a matter to myself, you must not pry nor ask questions." "Dread son of Saturn," answered Juno, "what are you talking about? I? Pry and ask questions? Never. I let you have your own way in everything. Still, I have a strong misgiving that the old merman's daughter Thetis has been talking you over, for she was with you and had hold of your knees this self-same morning. I believe, therefore, that you have been promising her to give glory to Achilles, and to kill much people at the ships of the Achaeans." "Wife," said Jove, "I can do nothing but you suspect me and find it out. You will take nothing by it, for I shall only dislike you the more, and it will go harder with you. Granted that it is as you say; I mean to have it so; sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing." On this Juno was frightened, so she curbed her stubborn will and sat down in silence. But the heavenly beings were disquieted throughout the house of Jove, till the cunning workman Vulcan began to try and pacify his mother Juno. "It will be intolerable," said he, "if you two fall to wrangling and setting heaven in an uproar about a pack of mortals. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall have no pleasure at our banquet. Let me then advise my mother- and she must herself know that it will be better- to make friends with my dear father Jove, lest he again scold her and disturb our feast. If the Olympian Thunderer wants to hurl us all from our seats, he can do so, for he is far the strongest, so give him fair words, and he will then soon be in a good humour with us." As he spoke, he took a double cup of nectar, and placed it in his mother's hand. "Cheer up, my dear mother," said he, "and make the best of it. I love you dearly, and should be very sorry to see you get a thrashing; however grieved I might be, I could not help for there is no standing against Jove. Once before when I was trying to help you, he caught me by the foot and flung me from the heavenly threshold. All day long from morn till eve, was I falling, till at sunset I came to ground in the island of Lemnos, and there I lay, with very little life left in me, till the Sintians came and tended me." Juno smiled at this, and as she smiled she took the cup from her son's hands. Then Vulcan drew sweet nectar from the mixing-bowl, and served it round among the gods, going from left to right; and the blessed gods laughed out a loud applause as they saw him ing bustling about the heavenly mansion. Thus through the livelong day to the going down of the sun they feasted, and every one had his full share, so that all were satisfied. Apollo struck his lyre, and the Muses lifted up their sweet voices, calling and answering one another. But when the sun's glorious light had faded, they went home to bed, each in his own abode, which lame Vulcan with his consummate skill had fashioned for them. So Jove, the Olympian Lord of Thunder, hied him to the bed in which he always slept; and when he had got on to it he went to sleep, with Juno of the golden throne by his side. Now the other gods and the armed warriors on the plain slept soundly, but Jove was wakeful, for he was thinking how to do honour to Achilles, and destroyed much people at the ships of the Achaeans. In the end he deemed it would be best to send a lying dream to King Agamemnon; so he called one to him and said to it, "Lying Dream, go to the ships of the Achaeans, into the tent of Agamemnon, and say to him word to word as I now bid you. Tell him to get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for he shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans." The dream went when it had heard its message, and soon reached the ships of the Achaeans. It sought Agamemnon son of Atreus and found him in his tent, wrapped in a profound slumber. It hovered over his head in the likeness of Nestor, son of Neleus, whom Agamemnon honoured above all his councillors, and said:- "You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I come as a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this, and when you wake see that it does not escape you." The dream then left him, and he thought of things that were, surely not to be accomplished. He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans. Then presently he woke, with the divine message still ringing in his ears; so he sat upright, and put on his soft shirt so fair and new, and over this his heavy cloak. He bound his sandals on to his comely feet, and slung his silver-studded sword about his shoulders; then he took the imperishable staff of his father, and sallied forth to the ships of the Achaeans. The goddess Dawn now wended her way to vast Olympus that she might herald day to Jove and to the other immortals, and Agamemnon sent the criers round to call the people in assembly; so they called them and the people gathered thereon. But first he summoned a meeting of the elders at the ship of Nestor king of Pylos, and when they were assembled he laid a cunning counsel before them. "My friends," said he, "I have had a dream from heaven in the dead of night, and its face and figure resembled none but Nestor's. It hovered over my head and said, 'You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I am a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this.' The dream then vanished and I awoke. Let us now, therefore, arm the sons of the Achaeans. But it will be well that I should first sound them, and to this end I will tell them to fly with their ships; but do you others go about among the host and prevent their doing so." He then sat down, and Nestor the prince of Pylos with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus: "My friends," said he, "princes and councillors of the Argives, if any other man of the Achaeans had told us of this dream we should have declared it false, and would have had nothing to do with it. But he who has seen it is the foremost man among us; we must therefore set about getting the people under arms." With this he led the way from the assembly, and the other sceptred kings rose with him in obedience to the word of Agamemnon; but the people pressed forward to hear. They swarmed like bees that sally from some hollow cave and flit in countless throng among the spring flowers, bunched in knots and clusters; even so did the mighty multitude pour from ships and tents to the assembly, and range themselves upon the wide-watered shore, while among them ran Wildfire Rumour, messenger of Jove, urging them ever to the fore. Thus they gathered in a pell-mell of mad confusion, and the earth groaned under the tramp of men as the people sought their places. Nine heralds went crying about among them to stay their tumult and bid them listen to the kings, till at last they were got into their several places and ceased their clamour. Then King Agamemnon rose, holding his sceptre. This was the work of Vulcan, who gave it to Jove the son of Saturn. Jove gave it to Mercury, slayer of Argus, guide and guardian. King Mercury gave it to Pelops, the mighty charioteer, and Pelops to Atreus, shepherd of his people. Atreus, when he died, left it to Thyestes, rich in flocks, and Thyestes in his turn left it to be borne by Agamemnon, that he might be lord of all Argos and of the isles. Leaning, then, on his sceptre, he addressed the Argives. "My friends," he said, "heroes, servants of Mars, the hand of heaven has been laid heavily upon me. Cruel Jove gave me his solemn promise that I should sack the city of Priam before returning, but he has played me false, and is now bidding me go ingloriously back to Argos with the loss of much people. Such is the will of Jove, who has laid many a proud city in the dust, as he will yet lay others, for his power is above all. It will be a sorry tale hereafter that an Achaean host, at once so great and valiant, battled in vain against men fewer in number than themselves; but as yet the end is not in sight. Think that the Achaeans and Trojans have sworn to a solemn covenant, and that they have each been numbered- the Trojans by the roll of their householders, and we by companies of ten; think further that each of our companies desired to have a Trojan householder to pour out their wine; we are so greatly more in number that full many a company would have to go without its cup-bearer. But they have in the town allies from other places, and it is these that hinder me from being able to sack the rich city of Ilius. Nine of Jove years are gone; the timbers of our ships have rotted; their tackling is sound no longer. Our wives and little ones at home look anxiously for our coming, but the work that we came hither to do has not been done. Now, therefore, let us all do as I say: let us sail back to our own land, for we shall not take Troy." With these words he moved the hearts of the multitude, so many of them as knew not the cunning counsel of Agamemnon. They surged to and fro like the waves of the Icarian Sea, when the east and south winds break from heaven's clouds to lash them; or as when the west wind sweeps over a field of corn and the ears bow beneath the blast, even so were they swayed as they flew with loud cries towards the ships, and the dust from under their feet rose heavenward. They cheered each other on to draw the ships into the sea; they cleared the channels in front of them; they began taking away the stays from underneath them, and the welkin rang with their glad cries, so eager were they to return. Then surely the Argives would have returned after a fashion that was not fated. But Juno said to Minerva, "Alas, daughter of aegis-bearing Jove, unweariable, shall the Argives fly home to their own land over the broad sea, and leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Minerva was not slack to do her bidding. Down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus, and in a moment she was at the ships of the Achaeans. There she found Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, standing alone. He had not as yet laid a hand upon his ship, for he was grieved and sorry; so she went close up to him and said, "Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, are you going to fling yourselves into your ships and be off home to your own land in this way? Will you leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Ulysses knew the voice as that of the goddess: he flung his cloak from him and set off to run. His servant Eurybates, a man of Ithaca, who waited on him, took charge of the cloak, whereon Ulysses went straight up to Agamemnon and received from him his ancestral, imperishable staff. With this he went about among the ships of the Achaeans. Whenever he met a king or chieftain, he stood by him and spoke him fairly. "Sir," said he, "this flight is cowardly and unworthy. Stand to your post, and bid your people also keep their places. You do not yet know the full mind of Agamemnon; he was sounding us, and ere long will visit the Achaeans with his displeasure. We were not all of us at the council to hear what he then said; see to it lest he be angry and do us a mischief; for the pride of kings is great, and the hand of Jove is with them." But when he came across any common man who was making a noise, he struck him with his staff and rebuked him, saying, "Sirrah, hold your peace, and listen to better men than yourself. You are a coward and no soldier; you are nobody either in fight or council; we cannot all be kings; it is not well that there should be many masters; one man must be supreme- one king to whom the son of scheming Saturn has given the sceptre of sovereignty over you all." Thus masterfully did he go about among the host, and the people hurried back to the council from their tents and ships with a sound as the thunder of surf when it comes crashing down upon the shore, and all the sea is in an uproar. The rest now took their seats and kept to their own several places, but Thersites still went on wagging his unbridled tongue- a man of many words, and those unseemly; a monger of sedition, a railer against all who were in authority, who cared not what he said, so that he might set the Achaeans in a laugh. He was the ugliest man of all those that came before Troy- bandy-legged, lame of one foot, with his two shoulders rounded and hunched over his chest. His head ran up to a point, but there was little hair on the top of it. Achilles and Ulysses hated him worst of all, for it was with them that he was most wont to wrangle; now, however, with a shrill squeaky voice he began heaping his abuse on Agamemnon. The Achaeans were angry and disgusted, yet none the less he kept on brawling and bawling at the son of Atreus. "Agamemnon," he cried, "what ails you now, and what more do you want? Your tents are filled with bronze and with fair women, for whenever we take a town we give you the pick of them. Would you have yet more gold, which some Trojan is to give you as a ransom for his son, when I or another Achaean has taken him prisoner? or is it some young girl to hide and lie with? It is not well that you, the ruler of the Achaeans, should bring them into such misery. Weakling cowards, women rather than men, let us sail home, and leave this fellow here at Troy to stew in his own meeds of honour, and discover whether we were of any service to him or no. Achilles is a much better man than he is, and see how he has treated him- robbing him of his prize and keeping it himself. Achilles takes it meekly and shows no fight; if he did, son of Atreus, you would never again insult him." Thus railed Thersites, but Ulysses at once went up to him and rebuked him sternly. "Check your glib tongue, Thersites," said be, "and babble not a word further. Chide not with princes when you have none to back you. There is no viler creature come before Troy with the sons of Atreus. Drop this chatter about kings, and neither revile them nor keep harping about going home. We do not yet know how things are going to be, nor whether the Achaeans are to return with good success or evil. How dare you gibe at Agamemnon because the Danaans have awarded him so many prizes? I tell you, therefore- and it shall surely be- that if I again catch you talking such nonsense, I will either forfeit my own head and be no more called father of Telemachus, or I will take you, strip you stark naked, and whip you out of the assembly till you go blubbering back to the ships." On this he beat him with his staff about the back and shoulders till he dropped and fell a-weeping. The golden sceptre raised a bloody weal on his back, so he sat down frightened and in pain, looking foolish as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The people were sorry for him, yet they laughed heartily, and one would turn to his neighbour saying, "Ulysses has done many a good thing ere now in fight and council, but he never did the Argives a better turn than when he stopped this fellow's mouth from prating further. He will give the kings no more of his insolence." Thus said the people. Then Ulysses rose, sceptre in hand, and Minerva in the likeness of a herald bade the people be still, that those who were far off might hear him and consider his council. He therefore with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus:- "King Agamemnon, the Achaeans are for making you a by-word among all mankind. They forget the promise they made you when they set out from Argos, that you should not return till you had sacked the town of Troy, and, like children or widowed women, they murmur and would set off homeward. True it is that they have had toil enough to be disheartened. A man chafes at having to stay away from his wife even for a single month, when he is on shipboard, at the mercy of wind and sea, but it is now nine long years that we have been kept here; I cannot, therefore, blame the Achaeans if they turn restive; still we shall be shamed if we go home empty after so long a stay- therefore, my friends, be patient yet a little longer that we may learn whether the prophesyings of Calchas were false or true. "All who have not since perished must remember as though it were yesterday or the day before, how the ships of the Achaeans were detained in Aulis when we were on our way hither to make war on Priam and the Trojans. We were ranged round about a fountain offering hecatombs to the gods upon their holy altars, and there was a fine plane-tree from beneath which there welled a stream of pure water. Then we saw a prodigy; for Jove sent a fearful serpent out of the ground, with blood-red stains upon its back, and it darted from under the altar on to the plane-tree. Now there was a brood of young sparrows, quite small, upon the topmost bough, peeping out from under the leaves, eight in all, and their mother that hatched them made nine. The serpent ate the poor cheeping things, while the old bird flew about lamenting her little ones; but the serpent threw his coils about her and caught her by the wing as she was screaming. Then, when he had eaten both the sparrow and her young, the god who had sent him made him become a sign; for the son of scheming Saturn turned him into stone, and we stood there wondering at that which had come to pass. Seeing, then, that such a fearful portent had broken in upon our hecatombs, Calchas forthwith declared to us the oracles of heaven. 'Why, Achaeans,' said he, 'are you thus speechless? Jove has sent us this sign, long in coming, and long ere it be fulfilled, though its fame shall last for ever. As the serpent ate the eight fledglings and the sparrow that hatched them, which makes nine, so shall we fight nine years at Troy, but in the tenth shall take the town.' This was what he said, and now it is all coming true. Stay here, therefore, all of you, till we take the city of Priam." On this the Argives raised a shout, till the ships rang again with the uproar. Nestor, knight of Gerene, then addressed them. "Shame on you," he cried, "to stay talking here like children, when you should fight like men. Where are our covenants now, and where the oaths that we have taken? Shall our counsels be flung into the fire, with our drink-offerings and the right hands of fellowship wherein we have put our trust? We waste our time in words, and for all our talking here shall be no further forward. Stand, therefore, son of Atreus, by your own steadfast purpose; lead the Argives on to battle, and leave this handful of men to rot, who scheme, and scheme in vain, to get back to Argos ere they have learned whether Jove be true or a liar. For the mighty son of Saturn surely promised that we should succeed, when we Argives set sail to bring death and destruction upon the Trojans. He showed us favourable signs by flashing his lightning on our right hands; therefore let none make haste to go till he has first lain with the wife of some Trojan, and avenged the toil and sorrow that he has suffered for the sake of Helen. Nevertheless, if any man is in such haste to be at home again, let him lay his hand to his ship that he may meet his doom in the sight of all. But, O king, consider and give ear to my counsel, for the word that I say may not be neglected lightly. Divide your men, Agamemnon, into their several tribes and clans, that clans and tribes may stand by and help one another. If you do this, and if the Achaeans obey you, you will find out who, both chiefs and peoples, are brave, and who are cowards; for they will vie against the other. Thus you shall also learn whether it is through the counsel of heaven or the cowardice of man that you shall fail to take the town." And Agamemnon answered, "Nestor, you have again outdone the sons of the Achaeans in counsel. Would, by Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, that I had among them ten more such councillors, for the city of King Priam would then soon fall beneath our hands, and we should sack it. But the son of Saturn afflicts me with bootless wranglings and strife. Achilles and I are quarrelling about this girl, in which matter I was the first to offend; if we can be of one mind again, the Trojans will not stave off destruction for a day. Now, therefore, get your morning meal, that our hosts join in fight. Whet well your spears; see well to the ordering of your shields; give good feeds to your horses, and look your chariots carefully over, that we may do battle the livelong day; for we shall have no rest, not for a moment, till night falls to part us. The bands that bear your shields shall be wet with the sweat upon your shoulders, your hands shall weary upon your spears, your horses shall steam in front of your chariots, and if I see any man shirking the fight, or trying to keep out of it at the ships, there shall be no help for him, but he shall be a prey to dogs and vultures." Thus he spoke, and the Achaeans roared applause. As when the waves run high before the blast of the south wind and break on some lofty headland, dashing against it and buffeting it without ceasing, as the storms from every quarter drive them, even so did the Achaeans rise and hurry in all directions to their ships. There they lighted their fires at their tents and got dinner, offering sacrifice every man to one or other of the gods, and praying each one of them that he might live to come out of the fight. Agamemnon, king of men, sacrificed a fat five-year-old bull to the mighty son of Saturn, and invited the princes and elders of his host. First he asked Nestor and King Idomeneus, then the two Ajaxes and the son of Tydeus, and sixthly Ulysses, peer of gods in counsel; but Menelaus came of his own accord, for he knew how busy his brother then was. They stood round the bull with the barley-meal in their hands, and Agamemnon prayed, saying, "Jove, most glorious, supreme, that dwellest in heaven, and ridest upon the storm-cloud, grant that the sun may not go down, nor the night fall, till the palace of Priam is laid low, and its gates are consumed with fire. Grant that my sword may pierce the shirt of Hector about his heart, and that full many of his comrades may bite the dust as they fall dying round him." Thus he prayed, but the son of Saturn would not fulfil his prayer. He accepted the sacrifice, yet none the less increased their toil continually. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal upon the victim, they drew back its head, killed it, and then flayed it. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, and set pieces of raw meat on the top of them. These they burned upon the split logs of firewood, but they spitted the inward meats, and held them in the flames to cook. When the thigh-bones were burned, and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off; then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, Nestor, knight of Gerene, began to speak. "King Agamemnon," said he, "let us not stay talking here, nor be slack in the work that heaven has put into our hands. Let the heralds summon the people to gather at their several ships; we will then go about among the host, that we may begin fighting at once." Thus did he speak, and Agamemnon heeded his words. He at once sent the criers round to call the people in assembly. So they called them, and the people gathered thereon. The chiefs about the son of Atreus chose their men and marshalled them, while Minerva went among them holding her priceless aegis that knows neither age nor death. From it there waved a hundred tassels of pure gold, all deftly woven, and each one of them worth a hundred oxen. With this she darted furiously everywhere among the hosts of the Achaeans, urging them forward, and putting courage into the heart of each, so that he might fight and do battle without ceasing. Thus war became sweeter in their eyes even than returning home in their ships. As when some great forest fire is raging upon a mountain top and its light is seen afar, even so as they marched the gleam of their armour flashed up into the firmament of heaven. They were like great flocks of geese, or cranes, or swans on the plain about the waters of Cayster, that wing their way hither and thither, glorying in the pride of flight, and crying as they settle till the fen is alive with their screaming. Even thus did their tribes pour from ships and tents on to the plain of the Scamander, and the ground rang as brass under the feet of men and horses. They stood as thick upon the flower-bespangled field as leaves that bloom in summer. As countless swarms of flies buzz around a herdsman's homestead in the time of spring when the pails are drenched with milk, even so did the Achaeans swarm on to the plain to charge the Trojans and destroy them. The chiefs disposed their men this way and that before the fight began, drafting them out as easily as goatherds draft their flocks when they have got mixed while feeding; and among them went King Agamemnon, with a head and face like Jove the lord of thunder, a waist like Mars, and a chest like that of Neptune. As some great bull that lords it over the herds upon the plain, even so did Jove make the son of Atreus stand peerless among the multitude of heroes. And now, O Muses, dwellers in the mansions of Olympus, tell me- for you are goddesses and are in all places so that you see all things, while we know nothing but by report- who were the chiefs and princes of the Danaans? As for the common soldiers, they were so that I could not name every single one of them though I had ten tongues, and though my voice failed not and my heart were of bronze within me, unless you, O Olympian Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, were to recount them to me. Nevertheless, I will tell the captains of the ships and all the fleet together. Peneleos, Leitus, Arcesilaus, Prothoenor, and Clonius were captains of the Boeotians. These were they that dwelt in Hyria and rocky Aulis, and who held Schoenus, Scolus, and the highlands of Eteonus, with Thespeia, Graia, and the fair city of Mycalessus. They also held Harma, Eilesium, and Erythrae; and they had Eleon, Hyle, and Peteon; Ocalea and the strong fortress of Medeon; Copae, Eutresis, and Thisbe the haunt of doves; Coronea, and the pastures of Haliartus; Plataea and Glisas; the fortress of Thebes the less; holy Onchestus with its famous grove of Neptune; Arne rich in vineyards; Midea, sacred Nisa, and Anthedon upon the sea. From these there came fifty ships, and in each there were a hundred and twenty young men of the Boeotians. Ascalaphus and Ialmenus, sons of Mars, led the people that dwelt in Aspledon and Orchomenus the realm of Minyas. Astyoche a noble maiden bore them in the house of Actor son of Azeus; for she had gone with Mars secretly into an upper chamber, and he had lain with her. With these there came thirty ships. The Phoceans were led by Schedius and Epistrophus, sons of mighty Iphitus the son of Naubolus. These were they that held Cyparissus, rocky Pytho, holy Crisa, Daulis, and Panopeus; they also that dwelt in Anemorea and Hyampolis, and about the waters of the river Cephissus, and Lilaea by the springs of the Cephissus; with their chieftains came forty ships, and they marshalled the forces of the Phoceans, which were stationed next to the Boeotians, on their left. Ajax, the fleet son of Oileus, commanded the Locrians. He was not so great, nor nearly so great, as Ajax the son of Telamon. He was a little man, and his breastplate was made of linen, but in use of the spear he excelled all the Hellenes and the Achaeans. These dwelt in Cynus, Opous, Calliarus, Bessa, Scarphe, fair Augeae, Tarphe, and Thronium about the river Boagrius. With him there came forty ships of the Locrians who dwell beyond Euboea. The fierce Abantes held Euboea with its cities, Chalcis, Eretria, Histiaea rich in vines, Cerinthus upon the sea, and the rock-perched town of Dium; with them were also the men of Carystus and Styra; Elephenor of the race of Mars was in command of these; he was son of Chalcodon, and chief over all the Abantes. With him they came, fleet of foot and wearing their hair long behind, brave warriors, who would ever strive to tear open the corslets of their foes with their long ashen spears. Of these there came fifty ships. And they that held the strong city of Athens, the people of great Erechtheus, who was born of the soil itself, but Jove's daughter, Minerva, fostered him, and established him at Athens in her own rich sanctuary. There, year by year, the Athenian youths worship him with sacrifices of bulls and rams. These were commanded by Menestheus, son of Peteos. No man living could equal him in the marshalling of chariots and foot soldiers. Nestor could alone rival him, for he was older. With him there came fifty ships. Ajax brought twelve ships from Salamis, and stationed them alongside those of the Athenians. The men of Argos, again, and those who held the walls of Tiryns, with Hermione, and Asine upon the gulf; Troezene, Eionae, and the vineyard lands of Epidaurus; the Achaean youths, moreover, who came from Aegina and Mases; these were led by Diomed of the loud battle-cry, and Sthenelus son of famed Capaneus. With them in command was Euryalus, son of king Mecisteus, son of Talaus; but Diomed was chief over them all. With these there came eighty ships. Those who held the strong city of Mycenae, rich Corinth and Cleonae; Orneae, Araethyrea, and Licyon, where Adrastus reigned of old; Hyperesia, high Gonoessa, and Pellene; Aegium and all the coast-land round about Helice; these sent a hundred ships under the command of King Agamemnon, son of Atreus. His force was far both finest and most numerous, and in their midst was the king himself, all glorious in his armour of gleaming bronze- foremost among the heroes, for he was the greatest king, and had most men under him. And those that dwelt in Lacedaemon, lying low among the hills, Pharis, Sparta, with Messe the haunt of doves; Bryseae, Augeae, Amyclae, and Helos upon the sea; Laas, moreover, and Oetylus; these were led by Menelaus of the loud battle-cry, brother to Agamemnon, and of them there were sixty ships, drawn up apart from the others. Among them went Menelaus himself, strong in zeal, urging his men to fight; for he longed to avenge the toil and sorrow that he had suffered for the sake of Helen. The men of Pylos and Arene, and Thryum where is the ford of the river Alpheus; strong Aipy, Cyparisseis, and Amphigenea; Pteleum, Helos, and Dorium, where the Muses met Thamyris, and stilled his minstrelsy for ever. He was returning from Oechalia, where Eurytus lived and reigned, and boasted that he would surpass even the Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, if they should sing against him; whereon they were angry, and maimed him. They robbed him of his divine power of song, and thenceforth he could strike the lyre no more. These were commanded by Nestor, knight of Gerene, and with him there came ninety ships. And those that held Arcadia, under the high mountain of Cyllene, near the tomb of Aepytus, where the people fight hand to hand; the men of Pheneus also, and Orchomenus rich in flocks; of Rhipae, Stratie, and bleak Enispe; of Tegea and fair Mantinea; of Stymphelus and Parrhasia; of these King Agapenor son of Ancaeus was commander, and they had sixty ships. Many Arcadians, good soldiers, came in each one of them, but Agamemnon found them the ships in which to cross the sea, for they were not a people that occupied their business upon the waters. The men, moreover, of Buprasium and of Elis, so much of it as is enclosed between Hyrmine, Myrsinus upon the sea-shore, the rock Olene and Alesium. These had four leaders, and each of them had ten ships, with many Epeans on board. Their captains were Amphimachus and Thalpius- the one, son of Cteatus, and the other, of Eurytus- both of the race of Actor. The two others were Diores, son of Amarynces, and Polyxenus, son of King Agasthenes, son of Augeas. And those of Dulichium with the sacred Echinean islands, who dwelt beyond the sea off Elis; these were led by Meges, peer of Mars, and the son of valiant Phyleus, dear to Jove, who quarrelled with his father, and went to settle in Dulichium. With him there came forty ships. Ulysses led the brave Cephallenians, who held Ithaca, Neritum with its forests, Crocylea, rugged Aegilips, Samos and Zacynthus, with the mainland also that was over against the islands. These were led by Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, and with him there came twelve ships. Thoas, son of Andraemon, commanded the Aetolians, who dwelt in Pleuron, Olenus, Pylene, Chalcis by the sea, and rocky Calydon, for the great king Oeneus had now no sons living, and was himself dead, as was also golden-haired Meleager, who had been set over the Aetolians to be their king. And with Thoas there came forty ships. The famous spearsman Idomeneus led the Cretans, who held Cnossus, and the well-walled city of Gortys; Lyctus also, Miletus and Lycastus that lies upon the chalk; the populous towns of Phaestus and Rhytium, with the other peoples that dwelt in the hundred cities of Crete. All these were led by Idomeneus, and by Meriones, peer of murderous Mars. And with these there came eighty ships. Tlepolemus, son of Hercules, a man both brave and large of stature, brought nine ships of lordly warriors from Rhodes. These dwelt in Rhodes which is divided among the three cities of Lindus, Ielysus, and Cameirus, that lies upon the chalk. These were commanded by Tlepolemus, son of Hercules by Astyochea, whom he had carried off from Ephyra, on the river Selleis, after sacking many cities of valiant warriors. When Tlepolemus grew up, he killed his father's uncle Licymnius, who had been a famous warrior in his time, but was then grown old. On this he built himself a fleet, gathered a great following, and fled beyond the sea, for he was menaced by the other sons and grandsons of Hercules. After a voyage. during which he suffered great hardship, he came to Rhodes, where the people divided into three communities, according to their tribes, and were dearly loved by Jove, the lord, of gods and men; wherefore the son of Saturn showered down great riches upon them. And Nireus brought three ships from Syme- Nireus, who was the handsomest man that came up under Ilius of all the Danaans after the son of Peleus- but he was a man of no substance, and had but a small following. And those that held Nisyrus, Crapathus, and Casus, with Cos, the city of Eurypylus,