The Grass Doctor

How do you like my writing? Okay, yeah, maybe the story is a bit stupid, but it's my first story. Here's just the first part. Feel free to criticize, but take it easy. After all, I'm no J.K. Rowling. I stared across the lawn at my friend for a moment in silence, until a string of hysterical laughter bubbled up throughout my body. I shook harder and harder, giggling uncontrollably until the blackness took hold of me. I struggled to breathe, fighting the grasp of the inevitable dark. It was fogging my vision, cutting off all my senses, until I slipped, and the night consumed me. ************************************************************* When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was Lindsey peering at me while gently holding a cool, damp cloth to my forehead. A moan escaped my lips as I struggled to sit up. A single red autumn leaf fluttered to the ground. I picked it up and twirled it around absently. “How are you feeling?” Lindsey asked calmly, her raven flowing against the wind. “Fine.” I stuttered, forcing myself to take deep breaths. “Geez Jessie, you know I hate it when you pass out on me!” Lindsey reprimanded me. “Yeah, I’ll work on that.” I mumbled, blushing a crimson shade of red. “Look Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d freak out that much.” She looked sorry enough. “It’s okay. It’s not everyday I learn my friend has superpowers.” “I’d better get you home before your parents start wondering where you are.” Lindsey opened her car door, and I followed. As we drove down the winding road that leads to my house, I wondered why she had shown me her power. And what she expected me to do about it. Was I dreaming? “Alright Jessie, see ya tomorrow. I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow kay?” “Okay, see ya tomorrow.” “Jessica?” My mom’s voice trilled frantically. “Jessica!” “Chill Mom, I’m home.” “Where were you?” My mom narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Just hanging out with Lindsey.” I quickly assured her. “Isn’t she a junior?” “Yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “Honey, maybe you should hang out with more people your own age.” “Mom, Jessica’s awesome. She’s an all A student. She doesn’t party. I don’t know why you’re so worried.” “I don’t know, just she seems so… intense.” “Well, I’m going up to my room. I need to finish my homework.” I ran up to my room, and shut my door, then collapsed on my bed. I couldn’t get my mind off Lindsey. It couldn’t be a dream, because I remembered her stretching her hand out over a young maple tree, it wilted. Then, with me still gaping at the sight, my mouth hanging wide open, she made it grow into an old, adult tree, that stretched to the sky. A twig scratched against my arm during this process. I examined my arm, and sure enough, found a tiny cut near my elbow. I picked up the phone sitting on my dresser, and started dialing Lindsey’s number. “Hello?” A deep voice echoed in my ears through the phone. “Hi, um, is Lindsey there? It’s Jessica.” “Yeah, hold on. LINDSEY! PHONE!” “Is this Jessie?” “Yeah.” I replied. “Hey. I knew you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.” Lindsey sounded annoyed. “Sorry, but you’ve gotta give me some answers!” I defended myself. Hey guyz, would you believe me if I said I was in 8th grade?

What do you think of my story? Okay, now i'm sure maybe it sounds kinda stupid, but don't laugh. please. Go ahead and critize but please dont be mean about it cuz it's my first story ever. Here is part oneish: I stared across the lawn at my friend for a moment in silence, until a string of hysterical laughter bubbled up throughout my body. I shook harder and harder, giggling uncontrollably until the blackness took hold of me. I struggled to breathe, fighting the grasp of the inevitable dark. It was fogging my vision, cutting off all my senses, until I slipped, and the night consumed me. ************************************************************* When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was Lindsey peering at me while gently holding a cool, damp cloth to my forehead. A moan escaped my lips as I struggled to sit up. A single red autumn leaf fluttered to the ground. I picked it up and twirled it around absently. “How are you feeling?” Lindsey asked calmly, her raven flowing against the wind. “Fine.” I stuttered, forcing myself to take deep breaths. “Geez Jessie, you know I hate it when you pass out on me!” Lindsey reprimanded me. “Yeah, I’ll work on that.” I mumbled, blushing a crimson shade of red. “Look Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d freak out that much.” She looked sorry enough. “It’s okay. It’s not everyday I learn my friend has superpowers.” “I’d better get you home before your parents start wondering where you are.” Lindsey opened her car door, and I followed. As we drove down the winding road that leads to my house, I wondered why she had shown me her power. And what she expected me to do about it. Was I dreaming? “Alright Jessie, see ya tomorrow. I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow kay?” “Okay, see ya tomorrow.” “Jessica?” My mom’s voice trilled frantically. “Jessica!” “Chill Mom, I’m home.” “Where were you?” My mom narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Just hanging out with Lindsey.” I quickly assured her. “Isn’t she a junior?” “Yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “Honey, maybe you should hang out with more people your own age.” “Mom, Jessica’s awesome. She’s an all A student. She doesn’t party. I don’t know why you’re so worried.” “I don’t know, just she seems so… intense.” “Well, I’m going up to my room. I need to finish my homework.” I ran up to my room, and shut my door, then collapsed on my bed. I couldn’t get my mind off Lindsey. It couldn’t be a dream, because I remembered her stretching her hand out over a young maple tree, it wilted. Then, with me still gaping at the sight, my mouth hanging wide open, she made it grow into an old, adult tree, that stretched to the sky. A twig scratched against my arm during this process. I examined my arm, and sure enough, found a tiny cut near my elbow. I picked up the phone sitting on my dresser, and started dialing Lindsey’s number. “Hello?” A deep voice echoed in my ears through the phone. “Hi, um, is Lindsey there? It’s Jessica.” “Yeah, hold on. LINDSEY! PHONE!” “Is this Jessie?” “Yeah.” I replied. “Hey. I knew you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.” Lindsey sounded annoyed. “Sorry, but you’ve gotta give me some answers!” I defended myself. Oh and also would you believe I'm only in 8th grade? Unfortunatly, I have nothing plot related down, and this was not a complete story, nor does it have any plot in it. This is my intro, but it's still a rough draft. Plus it's like if you were reading a book and you read like a couple paragraphs.